Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Speaking of Crock-o-Something…

While stuck at home I had time to read two books – James Cameron’s “Titanic” and Bill Clinton’s “My Life.” There seems to be a lot of similarities between the two books:

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton: Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Took over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Also took over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bull**** artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: We’re not gonna go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Bill doesn't remember anything.

Titanic: Rose almost goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica does... Yeah, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

Are tasteful jokes about sex allowed in this thread? I skimmed through posts and found some. Just want to check first.

digital paradise wrote in post #19044812
Are tasteful jokes about sex allowed in this thread? I skimmed through posts and found some. Just want to check first.

Depends what you're tasting.

Pippan wrote in post #19044817
Depends what you're tasting.

OK. I hope don’t get into trouble.

A fellow was reading GQ magazine and said to his wife. Did you know that having sex equals to running 10 miles. His wife replied. When was the last time you ran 10 miles in 20 seconds?

digital paradise wrote in post #19044828
OK. I hope don’t get into trouble.

A fellow was reading GQ magazine and said to his wife. Did you know that having sex equals to running 10 miles. His wife replied. When was the last time you ran 10 miles in 20 seconds?

1: Pass.
Next?

Do you know why China got COVID 19 under control so quickly? Everyone was Kung Flu Fighting.

People are complaining of hordes of angry shoppers. Over here we've got shops of angry hoarders.

Quick change of subject.

Only in France !

https://www.telegraph.​co.uk …bing-ejector-seat-handle/

Just as well the driver didn't get out too or there would have been even more red faces!

Jonzjob wrote in post #19045539
Quick change of subject.

Only in France !

https://www.telegraph.​co.uk …bing-ejector-seat-handle/

Just as well the driver didn't get out too or there would have been even more red faces!

I read elsewhere that the only reason the river wasn't ejected too was that there was a bug in the software!

https://theaviationist​.com …n-and-technical-failures/

For a little more amusement, see what picture was used to represent the FRENCH RAFELE in this site:
https://www.9news.com.​au …95-4543-a911-ab40faf05892

Capn Jack wrote in post #19045612
I read elsewhere that the only reason the river wasn't ejected too was that there was a bug in the software!

https://theaviationist​.com …n-and-technical-failures/

For a little more amusement, see what picture was used to represent the FRENCH RAFELE in this site:
https://www.9news.com.​au …95-4543-a911-ab40faf05892

Reminds me of the old Gary Larson cartoon.

The original story, while shocking, isn't nearly as funny as this. Gotta love Gary Larson!!!

My friend keeps saying, "Cheer up, it could be worse. You could be stuck in a deep hole full of water." I know he means well.

Day 26 of 'Shelter in Place':


My wife called in from the other room:

"Honey? Are you in any pain?"

I replied:
"No, what kind of pain do you mean?"

She said:
"Like needles going into your chest. Like someone is using a voodoo doll on you."

Me:
"No, nothing like that at all"

Her:
"How about now?"