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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
digital ­ paradise
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Apr 16, 2020 08:45 |  #9181


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Jonzjob
in the land of Donald Duck
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Apr 17, 2020 01:59 |  #9182


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My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
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avondale87
thanks for whoever started this
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Apr 17, 2020 02:51 as a reply to  @ Jonzjob's post |  #9183

John is a that a request for an answer?
I'd leave it and save an argument, :rolleyes:
But then I'd hope you meant it as a compliment  :p



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soeren
"only intermitent functional"
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Apr 17, 2020 03:34 |  #9184

Id take the free points and cheap goodwill


If history has proven anything. it's that evolution always wins!!

  
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digital ­ paradise
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Apr 18, 2020 08:22 |  #9185


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Inse
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Apr 18, 2020 09:59 |  #9186

Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they go to the Unemployment Office.
Asked his occupation, the first guy says, "Panty Stitcher.
I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."
The Clerk looked up Panty Stitcher.
Finding it classed as Unskilled Labor, she gives him $300, a week's Unemployment Pay.
The second guy was asked his occupation.
"Diesel Fitter," he replies.
Since Diesel Fitter is a Skilled job the Clerk gives the second guy $600 a week.
When the first guy finds out he's furious.
He storms back in to find out why his friend and co-worker is collecting double his pay.
The Clerk explains: "Panty Stitchers are Unskilled and Diesel Fitters are Skilled Labor."
"What skill?" yells the Panty Stitcher.
"I sew the elastic on and he pulls on it and says, 'Yep, Diesel Fitter' "


RAY
So far, this is the oldest I've ever been :cool:
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Jonzjob
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Apr 18, 2020 14:45 |  #9187

I have much more taste than my wife will ever have!

And I can prove it any day of the week at any time, easily.

Anyway I wish to say

I know that you would like to know why that is?

Well, it is easy really as you will see. She is obviously much more intelligent that I am and that is not the least of it but I have much more good taste!

The reason that I know this is quite obvious when you think about it, but when I tell people that I have the better taste I am almost ridiculed.

Easy really when you look at it.

The reason? I chose her. Look at who she chose :oops:


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
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Inse
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Apr 18, 2020 17:00 |  #9188

An old man is being massaged.

"Do you fancy super sex?" asks the masseuse.

"On balance, I'll have the soup," he says.


RAY
So far, this is the oldest I've ever been :cool:
http://inse-photography.smugmug.co​m/ (external link)

  
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Firemike
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Apr 19, 2020 14:07 |  #9189


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Michael
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pbigelow
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Post edited 10 months ago by pbigelow.
     
Apr 19, 2020 21:13 |  #9190

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.

There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she
said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "OK, Get in the car with it."

he wife says, "Where shall I put it to get it warm?"

He says, "Put it between your legs. It's nice and warm there."

"But what about the smell?" said the wife.

"Just hold it's little nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.




  
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Perfectly ­ Frank
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Apr 22, 2020 09:52 |  #9191

Photographer: someone who packs $5000 worth of gear into a car and drives 100 miles to make $50.


When you see my camera gear you'll think I'm a pro.
When you see my photos you'll know that I'm not.

My best aviation photos (external link)

  
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Apr 22, 2020 09:58 |  #9192

That joke used to refer to a musician :-)




  
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NixEre
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Apr 22, 2020 13:00 as a reply to  @ Roy Mathers's post |  #9193

True. Most musicians don't do as well as that any more :-(


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Nic
One day I'll take the photo I thought I had taken ...

  
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kiwichris
I forget how I didded that!
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Post edited 10 months ago by kiwichris.
     
Apr 22, 2020 19:44 |  #9194

NixEre wrote in post #19051209 (external link)
True. Most musicians don't do as well as that any more :-(

Not sure most photographers do either :(


Panasonic Lumix G9 and lenses from 7mm wide to 300mm long.
http://www.flickr.com/​photos/chriswaynzpics/ (external link)

  
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Tronhard
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Post edited 10 months ago by Tronhard.
     
Apr 22, 2020 20:48 |  #9195

Two mice in a film archive eating film
First mouse: "I don't think much of this film!!"
Second Mouse looks at the film box and responds "I'm not surprised, the book was rubbish!"


"All the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow", Leo Tolstoy;
"Skill in photography is acquired by practice and not by purchase" Percy W. Harris
We aren't remembered for the gear we use, rather the quality of the images we create. Me...
Trevor

  
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
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