Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

What do you get if you cross an Agnostic, Insomniac and a Dyslexic ?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

That sums me up in one, but I aint dysluquesex

I have been wondering if anyone has suggested using Norton anti virus to a certain North American president

But Avast might be better? Either would beat the something, I can't remember what, out of disenfectants.

I don't suppose he can spell 'disinfectants' either John!

Roy Mathers wrote in post #19054245
I don't suppose he can spell 'disinfectants' either John!

someone posted elsewhere that he should be charged with bleach of the peace, and domestos abuse.

He's totally Harpic, you know, clean round the bend

Desinfektants Roy? You should know by now that I never make mastikes mate

Why would you bring Canada into this ?

???

??

Has Canada bin dysenphequted (french spelling?) as well

Jeesus - it’s a joke thread ... he said NA ... assuming Trump eh - Canada is in fact the largest NA country ... so there it is. Get it ... right ?

No, sorry, this Brit doesn't understand the NA reference!

Sorry for the confusion at this point - I was jokingly replying to the Jonzjob post 9199 - I thought the quote would carry with the reply - no good. Then, I scratched my beard ( which I don’t have ) and thought those good ol chaps will get it ... might even buy me a drink.
NA is short for North America - carry on gentlemen ... I’m easing out .....

COVID pickup lines

You Smell So Good, Is That Purell You’re Wearing?
You can’t spell virus without U and I
If COVID-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?
Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.
Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink?
Are you COVID-19? Because if I had you near me I wouldn’t leave the house for two weeks straight
Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.
One-ply? Two-ply? Neither. The only thing I’m looking for is your re-ply
Can’t spell quarantine without u r a q t

Jonzjob wrote in post #19054189
That sums me up in one, but I aint dysluquesex

I have been wondering if anyone has suggested using Norton anti virus to a certain North American president

But Avast might be better? Either would beat the something, I can't remember what, out of disenfectants.

I think he would respond more positively to Kaspersky (it has that Russian connection)...

Imagine a virus bragging contest
Smallpox: I killed Millions and almost wiped out an entire population
The plaque: i wiped out 1/3 of europes population and made the doctors dress funky
Covid-19: I had a President suggest shoving Up an UV light in peoples asses as a cure

Feel free to improve

Codda, when I refereed to a 'certain' NA president I wasn't thinking of the bit between the US states mate, so don't leave

I didn't think of that Trevor. That would be a much better bet mate

He would get the CD, complete dose, and heat it till it smoked and breath in the antivirus smoke I suppose

Or he might get it on an SD, specific dose, and do the same, but as it's smaller it may be for less infected cases?