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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Pippan
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May 12, 2020 07:07 |  #9256

NixEre wrote in post #19061793 (external link)
Try swallowing some disinfected ants ...

:rolleyes:

I'd rather swallow de-odour ants!


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kiwichris
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May 13, 2020 01:34 |  #9257

Enough!, I'm sycophants.


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Pippan
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May 13, 2020 02:01 |  #9258

kiwichris wrote in post #19062266 (external link)
Enough!, I'm sycophants.

Crazy jumbo!


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digital ­ paradise
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May 13, 2020 08:45 |  #9259

I came up with one last night. My wife and I were talking about keeping up our daily walks to keep in some type of shape since the gym is closed.

I said I need to lose my winter weight, from the last 10 winters.


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Perfectly ­ Frank
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May 13, 2020 10:05 |  #9260

Did you hear about the guy who lost 250 lbs of ugly fat in one day?

His wife left him.


When you see my camera gear you'll think I'm a pro.
When you see my photos you'll know that I'm not.

My best aviation photos (external link)

  
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soeren
"only intermitent functional"
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Post edited 11 months ago by soeren. (2 edits in all)
     
May 13, 2020 11:03 |  #9261

My wife called me today from town
"Pack your bags, I won the lottery"
Me " Wauv thats amazing dear, where are we going?"
" I dont care as long as youre gone when I get home"


If history has proven anything. it's that evolution always wins!!

  
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Capn ­ Jack
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May 17, 2020 13:09 |  #9262

The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.




  
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Pippan
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May 17, 2020 21:22 |  #9263

I told my suitcases that, due to the Coronavirus, I wouldn’t be using them this year.
I’m now dealing with emotional baggage.


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Pippan
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May 18, 2020 00:24 |  #9264

What do I know about bonsai trees? Very little.


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Jonzjob
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May 18, 2020 02:17 |  #9265

Pippan wrote in post #19064811 (external link)
I told my suitcases that, due to the Coronavirus, I wouldn’t be using them this year.
I’m now dealing with emotional baggage.

Wow!

That shows just how attaché'd they can become -?


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
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avondale87
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Post edited 11 months ago by avondale87.
     
May 18, 2020 02:42 |  #9266

Pippan wrote in post #19064811 (external link)
I told my suitcases that, due to the Coronavirus, I wouldn’t be using them this year.
I’m now dealing with emotional baggage.

Jonzjob wrote in post #19064902 (external link)
Wow!
That shows just how attaché'd they can become -?

should just stick to briefcases  :p
lesson the pain



Richard

  
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NixEre
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May 18, 2020 04:05 |  #9267

Let’s bet on the best bag :
Duffel or quits!


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Jonzjob
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May 18, 2020 08:09 |  #9268

Just a couple more alternative meanings?

Diode. - a Welsh poem

Don Juan. - the present US president has been re-elected

Transmission. - sex change


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
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Jonzjob
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May 18, 2020 08:18 |  #9269

There was a very old, respected and traditional Japanese family who had 3 daughters.

the daughters were talking about marriage one day and the elder of them stated that she, being the oldest and therefore most prestigious wanted to marry a man with 3 dragons tattooed on his chest. This would indicate his prowess, strength and courage was in the highest order.

the second sister stated that as the second daughter she was not as prestigious as her beautiful older sister and that she could only possibly try to marry a man with 2 dragons on his chest.

The younger sister, quite different from the other 2, always chewing gum, smoking joints, piercings where ever possible, black leather and frequently drunk stated that as the younger sister she couldn't possible rise to 2 dragons when she married, but that she wanted a man with one draggin on the floor.8-)


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
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NixEre
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May 18, 2020 11:14 |  #9270

Pleased to say I got one of those two jokes !
:-P

Jonzjob wrote in post #19065015 (external link)
Just a couple more alternative meanings?

Diode. - a Welsh poem

Don Juan. - the present US president has been re-elected

Transmission. - sex change


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One day I'll take the photo I thought I had taken ...

  
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
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