Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

With all those other veggies, a courgette might get squashed

And weirdly , they are pump kin.

Relatively speaking.

Just a thought, but why, when the NHS were/are working their knuts off trying desperately to stop everyone getting this covid thing, did everyone in the country want to give them the clap?

NixEre wrote in post #19223672
With all those other veggies, a courgette might get squashed

That would be quite melon-collie wouldn't it?

Just pipped me to the post there...

Must be a seedy character!

Jonzjob wrote in post #19226024
I'm just wondering how the children appeared

The stork brought them as ever!

No,I think that was jus-tork, you know, rumour

Jonzjob wrote in post #19226147
No,I think that was jus-tork, you know, rumour

Is jus the brother of Peter, or are you Monkeying around?

Enginuity

A monkey was sitting in a tree eating some fruit and being a clever monkey he thought that this was messy. So he got a piece of wood and made it into a tool that could slice his fruit.
However when he sliced up his fruit he still had to pick it up with his fingers which made them all sticky. So being a clever monkey he made a tool with four points so that he could eat in a state of cleanliness. Then for many a day he sat in the trees eating his fruit with his one point tool and his four point tool as happy as Larry.
Then one morning he awoke to find his four point tool was missing. The monkey was bereft and went on a search. He asked a lion who said he had not seen it. He asked a giraffe who said he had not seen it. He asked a herd of gnus who shook their heads sadly and told him sorry there had been no sign. And then he bumped into a jaguar and asked 'have you seen my four point tool?' 'Yes' said the jaguar. 'Oh thank goodness' said the monkey, Where is it?' 'I ate it', the jaguar replied.
The monkey was really angry and shouted 'what the heck!' and was answered with "but I'm a four-point-tool-eater jaguar."

And a little something to make your weekend brighter

https://www.youtube.co​m/watch?v=X9PNTCwRneY

Prosecutor: Did you hit that man in the face with your fist?

Defendant: No.

Prosecutor: Sir, you’re under oath, do you know the penalty for perjury?

Defendant: It’s less than aggravated assault.

A new-to-me "May the Fourth" joke that made me laugh -

What goes "Ha ha ha ha ha AAAARRGH Thump!"
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A stormtrooper that laughed at Darth Vader.