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FORUMS Photo Sharing & Visual Enjoyment Weddings & Other Family Events 
Thread started 27 Jun 2007 (Wednesday) 10:59
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Formal Family Pictures - How do you deal with divorce?

 
MrsOpie
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Jun 27, 2007 10:59 |  #1

I'm shooting my first wedding this Saturday and I asked the bride if there were any divorces or family fueds I need to know about. This is her reply "Pete's parents are divorced. His dad will be there with his wife, and Pete's mom will be there - she has not remarried. My dad will be there with his wife - my mother is deceased so there are no issues there. My dad is feuding with everyone - but those who he is feuding with are well aware. If there's anything major I come up with I'll let you know before hand- he has promised to behave - so hopefully that will stay the case!!"

I'm looking over the shot list:
Bride and Groom with Groom's Parents
Bride and Groom with Bride's Parents
Family Portrait - Groom Side
Family Portrait - Bride's Side
Family Portrait - Both Sides

Any ideas on what I should do?


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colleent
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Jun 27, 2007 11:01 |  #2

I'd follow the brides lead and do what she wants done. Most people are civil enough to stand in a picture together for the couple. My parents were divorced at my wedding and were just fine with each other in pictures with me. My husbands parents, not so much, so we had seperate pictures with his father and wife and mother and husband. Most people can put their differences aside for the day.


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Alan ­ W
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Jun 27, 2007 11:09 as a reply to  @ colleent's post |  #3

Beacause you don't know these people personally you can't be expected to remember all this and take the photographs. I would suggest that you have the best man, usher or other family representative close at your side to discreetly advise you as you go. I always make a point of asking if there are any 'family issues' when I meet the B&G and they are often relieved that I have asked. But it does sound like you've got the cast of a Gerry Springer show there!


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picturecrazy
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Jun 27, 2007 11:12 |  #4

I ask the bride for a list of group shots. IF there is a feud going on then she's the one who decides who is in what shot. All I do is follow her list and press the shutter. I always talk with the bride or groom for suggestions on if people should be put on opposite ends of the grouping.

So basically, I let the bride and groom deal with it. How the heck are we supposed to do that when we don't even know the stories behind all the relationships?


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sblais
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Jun 27, 2007 11:18 |  #5

I ask the B&G to fill out an information sheet and a list of the formals that they want to take. In the information sheet, I ask them if there are any sensitive issues with certain family members. Then, if I see that they want formals with "trouble" couples, I ask them for their input (are they on good terms, etc).

So basically, I do like Lloyd there... the B&G deal with it, I'm just there to take pictures, not for counseling! :p


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Tish
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Jun 27, 2007 12:59 |  #6

sblais wrote in post #3448331 (external link)
I ask the B&G to fill out an information sheet and a list of the formals that they want to take. In the information sheet, I ask them if there are any sensitive issues with certain family members. Then, if I see that they want formals with "trouble" couples, I ask them for their input (are they on good terms, etc).

So basically, I do like Lloyd there... the B&G deal with it, I'm just there to take pictures, not for counseling! :p

+1

The wedding I seconded for Saturday had a shot list that the B&G came up with. Basically, on the bride's side, there were pics with Mom & Stepdad, then Dad & Stepmom--Mom & Dad were not in the same picture.

Let the B&G decide what they want, and let them manage the relatives appropriately. All you need to do capture what they ask for--not get in the middle of a family feud.


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liza
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Jun 27, 2007 14:48 |  #7
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Take a family pic with each little family unit to keep everyone happy. If the dad isn't adult enough to set aside his differences for the duration of a group picture, don't include him. And let the bride deal with it. It really isn't your responsibility. You're a wedding photographer, not a referee.



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Atl-Fotos
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Jun 27, 2007 14:58 |  #8

This kind'a goes along with what everyone else is saying...

Before the ceremony ask the bride who you can keep by you side to call the correct people for the specific shots. Or call the shot to the bride and have her call the people she wants in it. Either way this will will save a lot of time and aggrivation. Otherwise, you will have people getting up and down and up and down and up... well you get the picture (pardon the pun)...


Ron
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Formal Family Pictures - How do you deal with divorce?
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