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FORUMS Photography Talk by Genre Glamour & Nude Talk 
Thread started 25 Nov 2008 (Tuesday) 18:32
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Oh boy, my wife is PO'd at me right now.

Cream of the Crop
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Location: Copenhagen, Denmark.
Nov 26, 2008 11:10 |  #31

I am not married so I can't give you any advice about how to "handle" your wife but I just wanted to say that you should probably be carefull what you write about your wife on a public forum. Have you considered what would happen if she finds this thread and reads you are looking for advice on how to "handle" her?

I wish I still had the url but a couple years ago there was a very long thread on a forum posted by a guy that talked pretty bad about his girlfriend. Well the girlfriend found that thread and joined the discussion and really told him off. I can just imagine want went on in real life......


" too much trouble"
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Nov 26, 2008 11:37 |  #32


its not worth it. i had to put up with the stupid crap my husband did for the whole time he was in the marines.. strip clubs, bachelor parties and what not. i knew he wasnt cheating.. but it sucked anyway.. i had just had our third child.. and not exactly feeling my best.. and he drops that bomb on me. ( the did the strip club thing when a Marine was getting out into the free world)
he wasnt spending money on them, just a few beers, and would usually come home a little bit later) but it was still hurtful anyway. needless to say... the last time they had a party.. it was for him, and wives are never invited. one of his friends had left a comment on his myspace back then, of a stripper using him as her pole to dance on. i was unhinged in the matter of a second, and took off. ( it didnt matter that it didnt look like he enjoyed it) i still wouldnt answer my cell, stayed in a hotel for a week with my kiddos, and all of that stuff.

now with me being into photography, he is ok with me doing what i like to do.. if a guy wanted pics in his undies he couldnt care less, bcause my hubby knows i would rather take pics of him.

he found out that a male model on MM had asked me to shoot him, and saw that i had declined. ( i personally didnt feel comfortable with it, because he wanted something a little bit more than posing in his chonies.)

my hubby came right at me and told me he would have been ok with it, and offered to help me with lighting and hold the reflector. i was was kinda cute seeing how sincere he was.. and thats not often coming from a big grumpy marine.

but when he was doing all that crazy crap.. i wanted to punch him in the face anytime he took a breath in the wrong direction. i was insecure about my body, about my mind, about how insecure everything was with always moving. and i was angry.

it does sound like this girl is after a little more than just some photos. i would drop it as soon as possible, because it is not worth doing this to your wife. she is the one who said she would love honor and cherrish you.. not this chick.

i would talk to her about future situations, and ask her to be your assistant on the shoots, and that you want her apart of your photography thing like that.

but its not worth taking pics of this chick because shes willing. it sounds like shes got more on her agenda than it sounds.

geez i ramble way too much.

The ­ Mack
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Location: Tryon, NC
Nov 26, 2008 15:46 |  #33

so your post says men are relaxed and ok with it and women aren't? :)

...​m (external link)

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Nov 30, 2008 13:48 |  #34

women are jealous.. :rolleyes: if your wives got mad at you for doing something you would enjoy, can't trust you to shoot some girl in a bikini or hang at a strip club, i don't think your marriage would last to long. trust is an important part of a relationship.

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EL ­ Photo
Senior Member
543 posts
Joined Sep 2006
Dec 01, 2008 00:46 |  #35

I remember those coffee stops on my business trips to Washington. Take a snapshot of her during class or right after and post it here to see if she would be worth the divorce, big $$ loss, lawyers, and heart ache. We can help you judge :)


I would say invite the wife, or politely decline... (external link)​blog (external link)​lislloydphoto (external link)

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Dec 01, 2008 02:16 |  #36


I would politely decline the offer. No reason needs to be given other than you aren't interested. Not only is there an issue with your spouse but you also stated that you have no experience in this type of photography. This girl seems to have intentions for which you may not be prepared to deal with and thus will lead you to disaster as both a loving husband and a photographer.

There always have been and always will be other opportunities to photograph women. I would suggest you attend a workshop. Perhaps get together with other photographers in your area during a shoot together like what strobists do.

The only way I see you getting your way with this is through proper communication with family and time. Because, it also seems as though you just bombarded your wife with this situation. Which can be quite a shock to the soul if you've never expressed interest to her in this side of photography before.

My feedback

2,749 posts
Joined May 2008
Location: New Zealand
Dec 01, 2008 19:59 |  #37

Pass on this one. Have a good long convo with your wife explaining that you would like to not pass up opportunities like this in the future because it is a chance to broaden your horizons, but would like her to be there with you on the shoots. Once she realizes this and has done a couple she'll pretty much leave you to it. Wives 'ideas' of what goes on at a shoot is totally different to what actually happens. If you're professional ofcourse.

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Dec 01, 2008 21:10 |  #38

against: more than 10..

in favor: like 1 or 2..

so, what's going to be? :D

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Dec 02, 2008 15:20 |  #39

send her my way =)

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Mostly Lurking
13 posts
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Dec 02, 2008 18:10 as a reply to  @ SpeedkingXSi's post |  #40

O/P.....What'd you do in the end?!?!?!?!?

Auckland Wedding (external link) photographer
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Cream of the Crop
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Dec 02, 2008 18:15 |  #41

BrendanT wrote in post #6800491 (external link)
O/P.....What'd you do in the end?!?!?!?!?

Yes, indeed- we need an update.

=======>>> play W.A.I.N. :D

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Location: Finding a New World, thru my camera
Dec 02, 2008 19:01 |  #42

Like all the married men, and women. I agree that it is not worth your marital happiness!

Now, as a Professional with many years of shooting Models of all ages, and many in less than mentionable. I will tell you that I am NEVER ALONE with any of these ladies or gentlemen! I have MUA, and another company representative for me, and the model usually has a friend, or parent with them. I for one know my relationship is happy, and happy is the only way for it to remain solid. Trust comes with Respect, show her respect and she will trust you! And if your classmate still wants these photos shot, let her ask your wife. I am sure the fur will fly!!!

EOS 630, 1N, 1DsMkII, and 5D/wgrip and some L glass.....

Senior Member
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Dec 02, 2008 22:55 |  #43

photoguy6405 wrote in post #6760559 (external link)
Testify! This is exactly what would happen, the steady progression, with each thing being more absurd than the last. You eventually reach a point where you're afraid to do anything, in spite of the fact that you know what might set the other person off is completely ridiculous.

This is where I am at right now. I can't take it any more and I cant stop being create because it is who I am. But my situation is I can't shoot any females at all with out her flipping out.

Mike - 20D | 70D | 18-55mm | 24-70 f/2.8 L | SMC Takumar 50mm f/1.4 | 100mm Macro (Sold) | 580EX

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Location: South Dakota
Dec 02, 2008 23:35 |  #44

binderInteractveMedia wrote in post #6802335 (external link)
This is where I am at right now. I can't take it any more and I cant stop being create because it is who I am. But my situation is I can't shoot any females at all with out her flipping out.

Seriously, bring her along.

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Senior Member
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Joined Jul 2008
Location: Canada EH!
Dec 03, 2008 00:05 |  #45

There is one scary word that no picture is worth.

gear …p=10063848&post​count=2316


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Oh boy, my wife is PO'd at me right now.
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