After minutes of study, I've come up with a list of common afflictions that almost every photographer faces during his/her journey.
This common malady is caused by one of two things. The first is due to the photog taking hundreds of photos in the course of a two hour period, thus never giving the finger a chance to rest. The second is caused by the photog pressing the shutter button too hard. This happens when the photog thinks that if they press the button hard enough, the camera will detect the sincerity of the photog and take a good picture, OR, by pressing the button harder than usual, the camera will increase the Frames Per Second.
Having a deep fear of all things regarding flash photography. Usually hides behind the thin veil of "I prefer to shoot everything in natural light".
Pixelmaniacs suffer from the notion that more pixels will result in better shots. Severe cases of Pixelmania have the sufferers longing for the first 2 gigapixel camera.
The Urbaholic believes that a picture of a tipped over trash can, two or three rodents scurrying about and a dilapidated building is the acme of photographic art. Dark, brooding and gritty equal beauty in the Urbaholics world.
This sad affliction causes photogs to take a nice image, then run six or seven hundred different actions on that image until it looks nothing like the original. A shot of a puppy could become, in the hands of a Photoshopoholic, a shot of a VW Jetta.
A Sub-Affliction of Chronic Photoshopoholism, this disease forces photogs to pass pics through a Imaging Sharpening program numerous times until the image is so distorted with the action, it looks really weird.
Another Sub-Affliction that sees photogs taking an image and running it through various noise reduction programs until the image looks like it's been dipped in wax.
The belief that if one shot is good, then another fifty would be better.
Those suffering from Photo Phreeze will suddenly run out of ideas at a shoot. Either they will not be able to think of a shot to take, or will not be able to arrange the composition or posing. They will be unable to continue until someone tries to proceed without them.
SCS (Self Conscious Shooting):
Afraid of looking like a dork when you're shooting.
SPS (Shameless Position Shooting):
Not caring how you look when you're shooting, much to the chagrin of those that are with you.
MGA (Manic Gear Acquisition):
Those with this disease believe the maxim that "He who dies with the most toys, wins." They will collect every conceivable lens, tripod, monopod, camera bag, gadget imaginable. Acute cases, for example, will have the 50 f/1.8 plastic mount, 50 f/1.8 metal mount, 50 f/1.4 and the 50 f/1.2.
Pro Body Inferiority Complex:
This is found with those that possess the 5D, 1D or 1Ds camera bodies, in whatever iteration. The photog finds themselves thinking that they are not worthy of such a powerhouse camera, ergo, rarely use it.
Inordinate Aperture Desire:
Sufferers believe that only the lenses that are f/2.8 or faster are worthy of owning. They deny the existence of all other lenses.
Delusional Red Ring Disorder:
Also known as Lcoholism. Those so afflicted find themselves lusting after L lenses only. Severe cases have resulted in L snobbery. A DRRD photog will like a photo until they realize that it was taken with a non-L lens or, worse yet, a Tamron. Upon the discovery, the DRRD photog will rebuff the photo and hold it in disdain.
Superiority Gear Complex:
Akin to DRRD, SGC photogs believe that everything that they own at the present moment is the best possible equipment one can own. Regardless of what that gear is, they will attempt to convince everyone within listening range that their gear is lightyears better than yours.
Boy Scout Mentality (Be Prepared):
These poor folks, in order to be ready for any circumstance, will carry every piece of photographic gear they own wherever they go. They can be recognized by hauling a large, fully laden Pelican case through Pike Place Market.
Similar to MGA, the Gadget sufferers will collect every little photographic doodad. Lensbabies, hot shoe spirit levels, Better Beamers, every Gary Fong Flash attachment, various Cokin filters, etc.
These photogs have memorized every exposure formula ever created. They can recite the "Sunny 16" rule and calculate flash distances without breaking a sweat. Extreme cases, however, can render photogs incapable of shooting as they will take hundreds of technically correct shots, but none of them look good. They will sweat the small stuff until they can no longer function. They go into a state of distress when they discover that their photo subject is not really in the 1/3 of the frame, but rather 5/12.
Photo Repeater Phenomenon:
This occurs when the photog goes back to a place they had been before, and they take exactly the same shots as before.
Photo Quality Blindness:
This is a disease that has reached epidemic proportions. This disease renders the photog unable to enjoy their own shots. They will be in awe over other people's photography, but will not see any redeeming value to their own work. Surprisingly, this affliction affects over 90% of all photographers. The other 10% just bug the heck out of the 90%.
Inordinate Goal Setting:
Pursuing an established photographic style with an unrealistic timetable. These poor souls believe they can shoot as good as ______ (fill in blank with fantastic photog) without any of the hard work or experience. This will usually result in an onset of Photo Quality Blindness.
No matter what this person does, no matter what tricks they employ, no matter the gadgets they use, the horizon in their shots will always be at least a half a bubble off of plumb.
Background Vision Deficiency:
This photog will take a shot of two friends on a park bench, but will not see the shirtless, beer swilling, hairy dude in the background until they download their shots. They are incapable of "seeing the ugly" in the shot before they press the shutter button.
This comes into a photog's life when they no longer want to take the time to get up, get the camera, switch lenses, adjust the settings, decide on whether or not to use the flash just so they can get the shot. Also know as P&S Envy.
The belief that as soon as the new "whatever" (camera, lens, software, version, firmware, gadget) comes out, the old one is obsolete and no longer operable. E.g. the new 5DmkII came out, so, suddenly, all the 5D classics stopped taking good photos. Photoshop v. 4 is impossible to work with as soon as the newer Photoshop became available.
Delusional Steadiness Syndrome:
The erroneous belief that you can handhold a non-supported camera with no problem for up to three seconds.