Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

well, we all know photographers are sexy, smooth, charming and the opposite sex can't resist us, but we're also funny with a good sence of humour!

so let everyone read it, your favourite joke of all time. - or one that made you wet your pants lately.

personally, i love stupid jokes. they make me keel over in fits of laughter.

ie;

Knock knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interr--
Moo.


or,

A great dane, a scotty, and a chihuahua were sitting in a bar, knocking back a few, when a beautiful **** walked in.
"Okay, boys," she purred. "I'll make a very happy dog out of whoever can come up with the best proposition, using the words 'cheese' and 'liver'."
The great dane thought a moment, then stated: "I don't like cheese, but I sure like liver, and I like you, too!" He panted and wagged his tail.
The lady just looked away.
The scotty immediately said "I like cheese, and I like liver, AND I like you!" and wagged his tail expectantly.
She ignored him.
Then the chihuahua growled "Liver alone! Cheese with me."
They left together.


lucky last,

There once were two skunks; one named 'In" and one named 'Out." When Out was in, In was out, and when Out was out, In was in. One day, Out was in and In was out, and Mother skunk said 'Out, I want you to go out and bring In in." Out quickly went outside and almost immediately returned with In. Mother skunk was AMAZED and gasped "How did you DO that so quickly?"
"Easy," said Out. "In stinked."

Get it?

*sorry to be unrelated to photography, just wanted a laugh *

tell us yours!

Mod Edit:
The "Baby Photographer/Tripod Joke" has been around longer than forever. The repeated posts by people to whom it is "new" may be found here. If you post it in this thread (or anywhere else on POTN) the Moderators will seriously consider banning you.

Jon

Our politicians! Seems that we get what we deserve!
My 2nd favorite is universally hated by women everywhere & I can't tell it here! Or my fav photographer's joke! But if you like puns, try this.

A priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this? A joke?"

LOL! a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"

Just taught this one to my nine-year-old...

How do you spell "farm"?

E-I-E-I-O

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What do you call a mushroom who buys you lots of drinks?

A fungi to be with.

Did'ja hear the one about the two peanuts walking through the park?

One was assalted.

Rad

A man sitting at a deli counter notices a blonde girl a couple seats down, reading a news paper and she looks really upset, "Whats wrong"? asks the guy. The blonde says, "Look here, the headline says,12 Brazillian Soldiers killed!" Then the Blond looks the guy in the eyes and asks..... "How many is a Brazillian?"
lol,lol,lol.
-zacker-

The masochist pleads; "Hurt me, beat me, mistreat me, make me write bad cheques."
The sadist replies:

Wait for it........

"Noooooo"

That's my duck!

Hickory dickory doc,
3 mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The other two escaped with minor injuries..............



(Yeah, OK, sue me)

Is it just me or do these Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

I found a good one..

A photographer from a magazine was assigned to cover some bush fires. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the firefighters as they battled the blaze.

When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved, and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport, where a plane would be waiting for him.

He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.

He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!"

The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.

The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs."

The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

New MENSA Words . . . .


The Washington Post's "Mensa Invitational" once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing only one letter, and supply a new definition. Some of these
will put you on the floor! Here are this year's (2005) winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an *******.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money in the first place.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte' : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.