Long Exposure - Critic Please

shot this the other night and would love some critic, i will probly be heading back there soon so if you guys have any ideas on how to improve this shot i would love to hear them, fire away.

50D w/ Sigma 10-20mm @ 14mm
30 Sec.
f/7.1
ISO: 400

does it work?

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I like the concept, although I'm not a fan of the debris on the ground. I would clone out the tiny bits of light in the top left to make it all dark. That's my opinion.

Very cool how the door frame is illuminated and seems to almost frame the subject. I would if I were you eliminate the lighted part behind the subject it is somewhat distracting. Maybe you can use a snoot at direct some light into the subjects facial area or just make it so she is completely silhouetted. I think the debris adds to the aesthetic of the location so definitely keep that in there.

How you got the person to stand absolutely still for 30secs, wow, I can only imagine how it was done

Out of curiosity, why the long exposure if you are using flash to light the shoot? Was it to capture some ambient as well as flash behind the person?

I too like the rubble but feel that a tighter crop to remove some of the dead space to the left. If you are going to re-shoot as you have suggested, then perhaps you could play around with a few variations with an aerosol in the hand or sitting on a BMX bike or something.

One last point, I think the lighting on the graffiti (camera right) is looking too bright and unnatural. Is there any way that you could position/gobo/modify the light to make it look like it's coming through a roof light or a window, perhaps kicking up a bit of dust to add to the atmosphere.

Just ideas.

thanks so much for the feedback everybody. very, very much appreciated.

goldboughtrue, i will definitly be messing around with some cloning and i will keep your thoughts in mind.

i was using 30 seconds because i had been walking around and doing some light painting with LEDs and torches in the frame, the graffitii is lit with a LED torch pointed at the wall. i used 30 seconds so i have time to walk around in the frame and try out some different light painting.

thanks again, these ideas and suggesting are exactly the type of feedback i was hoping to get. would still love to hear from anyone else.

I like this picture a lot. only point I would agree with is the lit area behind the person.

Quite dramatic. It does work, though leaves me wondering about the context. Nothing wrong with a bit of mystery, though.

thanks for that stutterbug and sisyphus.
i will definitly see if anything can be done about the lit area behind the person during the reshoot.