Approve the Cookies
This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and our Privacy Policy.
OK
Index  •   • New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Guest
New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Register to forums    Log in

 
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
Search threadPrev/next
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Radtech1
Everlasting Gobstopper
Avatar
6,455 posts
Likes: 24
Joined Jun 2003
Location: Trantor
     
Oct 07, 2009 16:19 |  #2806

lanno wrote in post #8779648 (external link)
no idea,

but when he exhales, I'd bet that he's Cyan

arfarfarfarf

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


.
.

Be humble, for you are made of the earth. Be noble, for you are made of the stars.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)
Radtech1
Everlasting Gobstopper
Avatar
6,455 posts
Likes: 24
Joined Jun 2003
Location: Trantor
     
Oct 07, 2009 16:28 |  #2807

That reminds me of one that I actually thought up myself...

My wife and I save our change in a jar, which we use for vacations. We usually average about $1000 a year in the jar, which shows that we are pretty aggressive about adding to it, and often remind each other when the other has left change laying around the house.

Well, as it turns out, I used to work at a place that required driving on a Toll Road to get to, so I had opened up a few rolls of quarters into the map pocket of my driver's side door - that way I had the change for the toll booth close at hand without having to look for it.

One day, we needed to switch cars for some reason.

At the end of the day, my wife wanted to know why all that change was in my door. Her thinking was that it ought to go with the rest of the change - to save in the jar for vacation.

So I said to her:

(wait for it)

But, the door is a jar!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

(I have been just pleased pink with myself for 5 years over that one!)


.
.

Be humble, for you are made of the earth. Be noble, for you are made of the stars.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Jon
Cream of the Crop
Avatar
69,628 posts
Likes: 225
Joined Jun 2004
Location: Bethesda, MD USA
     
Oct 07, 2009 16:38 |  #2808

FlyingPhotog wrote in post #8779026 (external link)
Zigactly! Ferpectly Correct...


HOSTED PHOTO DISPLAY FAILED: ATTACH id 398445 does not exist. ]


Jon
----------
Cocker Spaniels
Maryland and Virginia activities
Image Posting Rules and Image Posting FAQ
Report SPAM, Don't Answer It! (link)
PERSONAL MESSAGING REGARDING SELLING OR BUYING ITEMS WITH MEMBERS WHO HAVE NO POSTS IN FORUMS AND/OR WHO YOU DO NOT KNOW FROM FORUMS IS HEREBY DECLARED STRICTLY STUPID AND YOU WILL GET BURNED.
PAYPAL GIFT NO LONGER ALLOWED HERE

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
FlyingPhotog
Cream of the "Prop"
Avatar
57,560 posts
Likes: 142
Joined May 2007
Location: Probably Chasing Aircraft
     
Oct 07, 2009 16:49 |  #2809

By Toutatis!


HOSTED PHOTO
please log in to view hosted photos in full size.


Jay
Crosswind Images (external link)
Facebook Fan Page (external link)

"If you aren't getting extraordinary images from today's dSLRs, regardless of brand, it's not the camera!" - Bill Fortney, Nikon Corp.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
lanno
Member
185 posts
Likes: 1
Joined Aug 2008
     
Oct 07, 2009 18:42 |  #2810

hey, nice idea for a thread: post your Asterix name




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
lanno
Member
185 posts
Likes: 1
Joined Aug 2008
     
Oct 07, 2009 19:02 |  #2811

Radtech1 wrote in post #8779879 (external link)
But, honey, the door is a jar!

:-D

phrasing a coin?




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
FlyingPhotog
Cream of the "Prop"
Avatar
57,560 posts
Likes: 142
Joined May 2007
Location: Probably Chasing Aircraft
     
Oct 07, 2009 19:06 |  #2812

Radtech1 wrote in post #8779879 (external link)
That reminds me of one that I actually thought up myself...

Cute! ;)

My Wife zinged me with this one a while back.

We were headed east out of Phoenix for the mining towns of Miami and Globe to do a little antique hunting and on the way we passed the site of the Arizona Rennaisence Fair.

I suggested we stop in for a bit and my wife (without missing a beat) says:

"Honey I want Old, not Ye Olde..."

Chuckled about that one for hours.


Jay
Crosswind Images (external link)
Facebook Fan Page (external link)

"If you aren't getting extraordinary images from today's dSLRs, regardless of brand, it's not the camera!" - Bill Fortney, Nikon Corp.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
SoccerRef
Goldmember
Avatar
1,925 posts
Joined Aug 2006
Location: Columbus, OH
     
Oct 08, 2009 08:42 |  #2813

Halloween Party

A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He, being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.

Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.

So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.

Just before the ritual unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: 'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there.'

'Did you dance much?'

'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to Dave!’

‘Who’s Dave?’ she asked.

‘The new single guy at the office. He showed up without a costume as me and the guys were leaving to go play poker, so I loaned him mine.'


SoccerRef - PergerPhotography.com (external link) - SUPPORT POTN HERE (external link)My Canon Gear - 7D, Gripped 40D, Gripped 20D, SD780IS, EFS 17-85 f/4.0-5.6 IS, EF 28-135 IS, 420EX
My Sigma Gear - 70-200 f2.8, 28-70mm f2.8 EX DG
Next in Line
- 5D, or Mark IIn

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
neilwood32
Cream of the Crop
Avatar
6,231 posts
Likes: 2
Joined Sep 2007
Location: Sitting atop the castle, Edinburgh, Scotland
     
Oct 08, 2009 10:49 as a reply to  @ SoccerRef's post |  #2814

Redneck love

Susie Lee done fell in love,
She planned to marry Joe
She was so happy 'bout it all,
She told her Pappy so.
Pappy told her, Susie gal,
You'll have to find another
I'd just as soon yo' Ma don't know,
But Joe is yo' half brother.
So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will
But after telling Pappy this
He said, "there's trouble still."
You can't marry Will, my gal
And please don't tell yo' Mother
But Will and Joe, and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother
But Mama knew and said, my child,
Just do what makes yo' happy
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to Pappy.
Brings a tear to your eyes don't it?


Having a camera makes you no more a photographer than having a hammer and some nails makes you a carpenter - Claude Adams
Keep calm and carry a camera!
My Gear

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
neilwood32
Cream of the Crop
Avatar
6,231 posts
Likes: 2
Joined Sep 2007
Location: Sitting atop the castle, Edinburgh, Scotland
     
Oct 08, 2009 10:53 |  #2815

I had 8 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my fiance to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else...
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were 8, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally Ihad all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am.
I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.


Having a camera makes you no more a photographer than having a hammer and some nails makes you a carpenter - Claude Adams
Keep calm and carry a camera!
My Gear

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
LW ­ Dail
Senior Member
703 posts
Likes: 4
Joined May 2007
Location: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain!
     
Oct 08, 2009 11:00 as a reply to  @ post 803082 |  #2816

In time for Halloween:

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch!


Canon 5D: 24-105mm L IS, 100-400mm L IS. Canon PowerShot ELPH 340HS, Canon GII. Canon AE-1: FD 50mm, 80-200mm. Holga 120N.
"Photography is my one recreation, and I think it should be done well." Lewis Carroll

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Digital ­ Aurora ­ Photography
Member
Avatar
163 posts
Joined Jul 2009
Location: Boston
     
Oct 08, 2009 13:56 |  #2817

neilwood32 wrote in post #8784434 (external link)
I had 8 bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my fiance to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else...
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were 8, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally Ihad all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am.
I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.


Awesome Joke.
I heard this years ago and I can't be;lieve it is still around.


_______________
Gear list: 40D, 50mm F1.4, 24-70mm F2.8L, 70-200mm F4L, 70-300mm DO, Sigma 105mm Macro, Bogen 190CXPRO3 + Bogen 390RC2 JR Tripod Head, 580 EXII, Sigma 18-200mm IS (FOR SALE)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
jeffrf
Member
79 posts
Joined Oct 2007
     
Oct 08, 2009 15:15 |  #2818

Hope this does not violate the anti politics rule...

Two politicians were in the woods one day and found a set of tracks.
One says, "These are obviously moose tracks."
The other says, "Nope, these are obviously deer tracks."
"Moose tracks!"
"Deer tracks!"
"MOOSE TRACKS!!"
"DEER TRACKS!!"
That's when the diesel locomotive smears them both across the Train Tracks.


http://www.flickr.com/​photos/11037896@N05/ (external link)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
lanno
Member
185 posts
Likes: 1
Joined Aug 2008
     
Oct 08, 2009 16:58 |  #2819

The young girl had led a sheltered life. She approached her mother with the news that she had fallen in love with a sailor and they were going to be married. Her mother, who had been around the block a few times, decided to impart some sagely advice:

"If your husband wants you to have sex 'THE OTHER WAY,' don't do it!" she warned.

The daughter heeded her mother's advice for nearly a year. But one day, after a wild session of love making, curiosity got the better of her. The young woman asked her husband if they could have sex "THE OTHER WAY."

Her husband jumped out of bed and yelled, "What, and get you pregnant?"




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
neilwood32
Cream of the Crop
Avatar
6,231 posts
Likes: 2
Joined Sep 2007
Location: Sitting atop the castle, Edinburgh, Scotland
     
Oct 09, 2009 07:27 |  #2820

lanno wrote in post #8786504 (external link)
The young girl had led a sheltered life. She approached her mother with the news that she had fallen in love with a sailor and they were going to be married. Her mother, who had been around the block a few times, decided to impart some sagely advice:

"If your husband wants you to have sex 'THE OTHER WAY,' don't do it!" she warned.

The daughter heeded her mother's advice for nearly a year. But one day, after a wild session of love making, curiosity got the better of her. The young woman asked her husband if they could have sex "THE OTHER WAY."

Her husband jumped out of bed and yelled, "What, and get you pregnant?"

Classic!bw!


Having a camera makes you no more a photographer than having a hammer and some nails makes you a carpenter - Claude Adams
Keep calm and carry a camera!
My Gear

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

1,937,343 views & 2,713 likes for this thread
Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
AAA
x 1600
y 1600

Jump to forum...   •  Rules   •  Index   •  New posts   •  RTAT   •  'Best of'   •  Gallery   •  Gear   •  Reviews   •  Member list   •  Polls   •  Image rules   •  Search   •  Password reset

Not a member yet?
Register to forums
Registered members may log in to forums and access all the features: full search, image upload, follow forums, own gear list and ratings, likes, more forums, private messaging, thread follow, notifications, own gallery, all settings, view hosted photos, own reviews, see more and do more... and all is free. Don't be a stranger - register now and start posting!


COOKIES DISCLAIMER: This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and to our privacy policy.
Privacy policy and cookie usage info.


POWERED BY AMASS forum software 2.1forum software
version 2.1 /
code and design
by Pekka Saarinen ©
for photography-on-the.net

Latest registered member is travelhuge1
1207 guests, 281 members online
Simultaneous users record so far is 15144, that happened on Nov 22, 2018

Photography-on-the.net Digital Photography Forums is the website for photographers and all who love great photos, camera and post processing techniques, gear talk, discussion and sharing. Professionals, hobbyists, newbies and those who don't even own a camera -- all are welcome regardless of skill, favourite brand, gear, gender or age. Registering and usage is free.