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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
lanno
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Oct 15, 2009 15:42 |  #2881

A person was asked a question and gave an answer that was completely unexpected

hmm...

this PC thing isn't working for me...would it be funnier as Mac?




  
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Guineh
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Oct 15, 2009 15:50 |  #2882

lanno wrote in post #8829013 (external link)
hmm...

this PC thing isn't working for me...would it be funnier as Mac?


I'm a PC and I'm offended. ;)


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lanno
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Oct 15, 2009 16:16 |  #2883

Guineh wrote in post #8829057 (external link)
I'm a PC and I'm offended. ;)

:lol: you win




  
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FlyingPhotog
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Oct 15, 2009 16:27 |  #2884

lanno wrote in post #8828988 (external link)
this thread is PC, now?

hmm, ok

Three people happen upon a circumstance that requires each to make a decision, the consequences of which may be either fair or foul (depending on their decision).

The first two, for reasons that need not be entered into, were sufficiently 'situationally-aware' as to make decisions with agreeable consequences.

The third made a poor decision, the consequence of which might be considered by some as having humourous overtones.

i dunno...something seems to get lost in translation...can't quite put my finger on it

Now this is possibly humorous and I may or may not be experiencing a hightened state of amusement to the point of losing a specific portion of my anatomy located in a posterior region. The slang term for this portion of my anatomy may or may not be offensive to some or all poeple and as such, it shall remain unspecific.


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Citizensmith
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Oct 15, 2009 16:37 |  #2885

lanno wrote in post #8828988 (external link)
Three people happen upon a circumstance that requires each to make a decision, the consequences of which may be either fair or foul (depending on their decision).

The first two, for reasons that need not be entered into, were sufficiently 'situationally-aware' as to make decisions with agreeable consequences.

The third made a poor decision, the consequence of which might be considered by some as having humourous overtones.

Did that happen in a bar?


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lanno
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Oct 15, 2009 16:42 |  #2886

FlyingPhotog wrote in post #8829301 (external link)
Now this is possibly humorous and I may or may not be experiencing a hightened state of amusement to the point of losing a specific portion of my anatomy located in a posterior region. The slang term for this portion of my anatomy may or may not be offensive to some or all poeple and as such, it shall remain unspecific.

I may, or may not, be supine while at the same time rotating about my axis of symmetry and contemplating a similar (without wishing to, or being seen to, detract from the inherent uniqueness of your personal experience) feeling of a-posteriority




  
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lanno
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Oct 15, 2009 16:43 |  #2887

Citizensmith wrote in post #8829368 (external link)
Did that happen in a bar?

bugger...why didn't you say you'd already heard it!?!




  
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FlyingPhotog
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Oct 15, 2009 16:47 |  #2888

lanno wrote in post #8829404 (external link)
I may, or may not, be supine while at the same time rotating about my axis of symmetry and contemplating a similar (without wishing to, or being seen to, detract from the inherent uniqueness of your personal experience) feeling of a-posteriority

Is that Supine or Prostrate? I can never remember which is which? :lol:


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lanno
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Oct 15, 2009 16:56 |  #2889

FlyingPhotog wrote in post #8829439 (external link)
Is that Supine or Prostrate? I can never remember which is which? :lol:

really?

Beware someone who offers to examine your Supine ;)




  
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WorkingClassHero
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Oct 15, 2009 19:01 |  #2890

German Jokes.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.


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FlyingPhotog
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Oct 15, 2009 19:02 |  #2891

^^^ Chuckle ^^^


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Belmondo
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Oct 15, 2009 19:34 |  #2892

WorkingClassHero wrote in post #8830169 (external link)
German Jokes.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

There's a bunch of thigh-slappers there. :rolleyes:


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lanno
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Oct 15, 2009 19:42 |  #2893

WorkingClassHero wrote in post #8830169 (external link)
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

lolza




  
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20droger
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Oct 16, 2009 00:17 as a reply to  @ lanno's post |  #2894

How many audioanimatronics technicians does it take to change a light bulb?

It had better be zero unless you want a strike! That's an electrician's job!

(If you ever worked for Disneyland or Walt Disney World, you'll find this joke hilarious.)




  
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hungt23
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Oct 16, 2009 09:26 |  #2895

I don't know if this had been posted or not so here goes...

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan.

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for 10 more years and then dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the service the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"




  
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