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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 17:47 |  #3181

Citizensmith wrote in post #9069466 (external link)
Its not easy being a dolphin.

(very obscure beer related reference, anyone?)

i read it as 'dull finn' and am not sure where you're going with it, but let me get some popcorn first :-D




  
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FlyingPhotog
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Nov 23, 2009 17:48 |  #3182

tim wrote in post #9069361 (external link)
"Finland" is just a pun to throw us off the track. So is Hell "sinky". Fins? Sinky? Hello?! Pekka's actually a hyper-intelligent dolphin, they're learning about human culture in advance of their invasion force arriving to take over and rule the earth.

I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome our new aquatic masters, and assure them that i'll happily throw them a fish every now and then, rub their bellies, and support the movement to ban drift-net fishing.

So would these be Aquatic underlords then?

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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 17:54 |  #3183

FlyingPhotog wrote in post #9069507 (external link)
So would these be Aquatic underlords then?



Aha! I always knew they had a secret porpoise!




  
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FlyingPhotog
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Nov 23, 2009 17:55 |  #3184

GROAN...


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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 17:59 |  #3185

FlyingPhotog wrote in post #9069550 (external link)
GROAN...

50mg of context, stat!

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.




  
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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 18:00 |  #3186

punbots are go:

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."




  
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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 18:04 |  #3187

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."




  
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tim
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Nov 23, 2009 18:12 as a reply to  @ lanno's post |  #3188

lanno wrote in post #9069575 (external link)
50mg of context, stat!

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

That's awful, I love it!


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neilwood32
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Nov 23, 2009 18:12 |  #3189

I am not a robot.

I am not a robot..

I am not a robot...


Having a camera makes you no more a photographer than having a hammer and some nails makes you a carpenter - Claude Adams
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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 18:16 |  #3190

neilwood32 wrote in post #9069636 (external link)
I am not a robot.

I am not a robot..

I am not a robot...

you'd know/remember "Minder"?

my favourite line(s) from one episode:

"I used to think I was a parrot, but I'm alright now"

repeated ad nauseum

tim...but wait, thar be more!




  
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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 18:16 |  #3191

An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."




  
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WMS
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Nov 23, 2009 19:03 |  #3192

Gentlemen if this continues we shall all be severely punished

Wayne


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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 20:03 |  #3193

1000arms wrote in post #9070072 (external link)
Do you find replacing the batteries in scat to be revolting? Get a charge out of it? Find it shocking? Are these puns current enough for you? Do you have the capacity to handle them. Shall we induct you into the hall of shame? Wire you still reading these? Have you transformed yourself? Shall we socket to you? You don't know jack!

Ohm igod

that's reVOLTing




  
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neilwood32
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Nov 23, 2009 20:07 |  #3194

1000arms wrote in post #9070072 (external link)
Do you find replacing the batteries in scat to be revolting? Get a charge out of it? Find it shocking? Are these puns current enough for you? Do you have the capacity to handle them. Shall we induct you into the hall of shame? Wire you still reading these? Have you transformed yourself? Shall we socket to you? You don't know jack!

Dont worry he will be up on charges for it?

Shocking aint it?


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Keep calm and carry a camera!
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lanno
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Nov 23, 2009 20:25 |  #3195

phlogiston a dead horse?




  
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
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