What is your rationale behind not posting your site? Are you saying you have a public site? But just refuse to share here? What is the reasoning behind such a decision?
And either way, if you're a full time pro, why don't you simply post photos for honest critique? You don't need a separate gallery for that.
Really not trying to blast you -- I'm sure you're a great, nice guy. I just happened to believe that you are drawing incorrect conclusions. For example, you didn't lose your job to that photographer because you helped her originally. You either lost it because a) the other photographer is better, b) the other photographer gave the client more confidence (this is HUGE. I'll book 5 figure weddings over friends of mine who are cheaper and just as good of photographers as me -- but they aren't able to give the client the confidence that they need in order to book), c) you are trying to get clients who are too budget conscious and don't really respect photography.
And for the record, I too am a full time photographer, I have no other source of income, my wife doesn't work, and, as of two days ago, we're expecting our first child (just announced it on the blog today!). I am also in the most competitive wedding photography market in the world -- by far. I have probably one of the top read wedding blogs in San Diego county and if you google "San Diego Wedding Photographer" I still come up in the hundreds. I have more shootNburner's/undercutters in my county than most probably have in their state and the two states that border them combined. No joke. I'm well aware of the undercutter. But fighting what can't be changed is pointless from a business standpoint. As photographers, we must adapt or get rolled over by the competition. Photography equipment (that produces quality images) is getting cheaper every year. Websites/blogs are easier than ever. Undercutters are going to flourish more and more every year. There's nothing you can do about it. Accept it and move on. I really believe you'll be benefited if you take that approach.