Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Robert16 wrote in post #9133457
In the PC world of today Christmas would be banned.

In the tradition of our (American) forefathers may you all have a very merry Puritan Christmas.

Wayne

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed trying to get some sleep. See, it seems that the next door neighbor's dog has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. Finally, in exaspiration, the blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this", and storms off downstairs.

Ten minutes later, she comes back upstairs, throws herself in bed and says "There!" Her husband says "The dog is still barking, what did you do?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our yard ... let's see how THEY like it!

WMS wrote in post #9137317
In the tradition of our (American) forefathers may you all have a very merry Puritan Christmas.

Wayne

But the puritans thought christmas was blasphemy. That's why the English got sick of their whining and kicked them onto a few boats. Who actually thought they'd make it somewhere.

Radtech1 wrote in post #9137368
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed trying to get some sleep. See, it seems that the next door neighbor's dog has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. Finally, in exaspiration, the blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this", and storms off downstairs.

Ten minutes later, she comes back upstairs, throws herself in bed and says "There!" Her husband says "The dog is still barking, what did you do?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our yard ... let's see how THEY like it!

LMAo funny

Title: Italian Boys Confession

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

Citizensmith wrote in post #9137709
But the puritans thought christmas was blasphemy. That's why the English got sick of their whining and kicked them onto a few boats. Who actually thought they'd make it somewhere.

I knew that, but "Wishing that someone have a joyous Puritan Christmas" sounds so much better than Bah Humbug, and means the same thing. And the Puritans had many other objections to the way The Church of England ran religion than just Christmas.

Wayne

Robert16 wrote in post #9133457
In the PC world of today Christmas would be banned.

I just realised that I should have added a or a to the above. I love Christmas.
PCness goes too far . . sometimes.

Robert16 wrote in post #9141133
I just realised that I should have added a or a to the above. I love Christmas.
PCness goes too far . . sometimes.

Not sometimes, but usually. As a mature person of size, I know.


"Mature person of size" is PC for "fat old fart"!

20droger wrote in post #9141335
Not sometimes, but usually. As a mature person of size, I know.


"Mature person of size" is PC for "fat old fart"!

Hay! I resemble that remark....

Wayne

WMS wrote in post #9142783
Hay! I resemble that remark....

Wayne

My gut is a status symbol. Do you have any idea what it costs to maintain one that size? And in this economy, too!

Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says.

Does this taste funny to you

Big G wrote in post #9144086
Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says.

Does this taste funny to you

That one never gets old

Two parrots standing on a perch, one says, "Can you smell fish?"

Two Goldfish in a tank, one says, "Do you have any idea how to drive this thing?"

WMS wrote in post #9138855
I knew that

Sorry, that was me missing the joke then.