Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

20droger wrote in post #9188340
Yes, they do. But then, I might point out that NORAD is itself a mostly secret part of the government. Is it not possible that they are an integral part of the conspiracy?

Hmm... You got a point there. Now, where did I put my tinfoil hat?

While I should not publicly admit this, I am one of Santa's elves, currently assigned to the big girls unit, although I have had a temporary assignments with the surveillance and the logistics units. I can assure you that we are not a government conspiracy nor are we a branch of any government organization that you have heard of. We are benevolent and we mean no harm. As for NORAD tracking us, actually what the track is an unmanned targeting drone, the actual transport has excellent cloaking its capabilities and has never been successfully tracked.

Doger, we have an extensive file on you, Guineh, while your file is not as extensive it is impressive in its own right. And don't and don't worry tinfoil hats do not affect our surveillance technology in the least.

Wayne

WMS wrote in post #9188402
While I should not publicly admit this, I am one of Santa's elves, currently assigned to the big girls unit, although I have had a temporary assignments with the surveillance and the logistics units. I can assure you that we are not a government conspiracy nor are we a branch of any government organization that you have heard of. We are benevolent and we mean no harm. As for NORAD tracking us, actually what the track is an unmanned targeting drone, the actual transport has excellent cloaking its capabilities and has never been successfully tracked.

Doger, we have an extensive file on you, Guineh, while your file is not as extensive it is impressive in its own right. And don't and don't worry tinfoil hats do not affect our surveillance technology in the least.

Wayne

Just as I thought. Not a branch of any government organization we have heard of. Other government organizations are another matter entirely.

I'm sure these jokes are better when enhanced with ethanol:

http://dsc.discovery.c​om …thbusters-gone-tipsy.html

20droger wrote in post #9188010
An immortal being.
A secret polar base.
Covert surveillance of a vast number of innocent person worldwide.
Documents listing people's behaviors.
A large number of small pointed-eared minions.
A unique flying craft capable of unbelievable speeds.
An ability to enter locked homes by secret means.
An ability to roam vast distances through public spaces completely unobserved.

Is it Santa Claus or a government/alien conspiracy?

Dont you realise that SANTA is actually an acronym for an international agency that respects no borders- Secret And Naughty Tracking Authority?

20droger wrote in post #9188694
Just as I thought. Not a branch of any government organization we have heard of. Other government organizations are another matter entirely.

Droger from my most recent tour in Santa's Inelegance Service

http://www.youtube.com​/watch?v=tndDcbIzEfA

And my friends in the Santa's Disinformation Network arranged this;

http://www.youtube.com …hzuy3UxhI&featu​re=related

We are everywhere, and we do have mind control technology to use in our defense when necessary, but as I said we come in piece are benevolent and mean no harm.....

Wayne

Incidentaly I think that I will be transferred back to the SIS (hopefully to the Big Naughty girls division) after the first of the year.

neilwood32 wrote in post #9189480
Dont you realise that SANTA is actually an acronym for an international agency that respects no borders- Secret And Naughty Tracking Authority?

Neil you can't go just telling everyone our real name why do you think we always just use the initials?

Wayne

20droger wrote in post #9185375
Where's PETA when you need them!

Besides being obscenely cruel, cat juggling is a dangerous sport. Always remember, a cat has six ends—five of which are pointy.

Cat herding is safer although more frustrating.

WMS wrote in post #9188402
While I should not publicly admit this, I am one of Santa's elves, currently assigned to the big girls unit, although I have had a temporary assignments with the surveillance and the logistics units. I can assure you that we are not a government conspiracy nor are we a branch of any government organization that you have heard of. We are benevolent and we mean no harm. As for NORAD tracking us, actually what the track is an unmanned targeting drone, the actual transport has excellent cloaking its capabilities and has never been successfully tracked.

And then there is Elf Bowling..
http://www.goldfiles.c​om/portal.php?fileid=7​7

Tixeon wrote in post #9189784
And then there is Elf Bowling..
http://www.goldfiles.c​om/portal.php?fileid=7​7

Well there are some down side duties for the junior elves but all in all it's not a bad job.

Wayne

Cant beat a little elf bowling! Its an elfy sport!

neilwood32 wrote in post #9194039
Cant beat a little elf bowling! Its an elfy sport!

But where to get pixie pins this time of year?

neilwood32 wrote in post #9189480
Dont you realise that SANTA is actually an acronym for an international agency that respects no borders- Secret And Naughty Tracking Authority?

Is that who's been following me?

WMS wrote in post #9189605
Incidentaly I think that I will be transferred back to the SIS (hopefully to the Big Naughty girls division) after the first of the year.

Yes, please. I'd be in that division and I'd like some new jewels.

Bad Santa joke of the day! And don't know if its been told here before, but ohh well, here goes!

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at three hoes!

LOL!!!

pennypue wrote in post #9197956
Is that who's been following me?

Yes, please. I'd be in that division and I'd like some new jewels.

Penny should I transfer or be transferred I would be in surveillance and data collection (with SIS they are the same) rather than production.

I do find it amusing at just how many young lady's, who don't know me all that well, want me to give them baubles.

Wayne