Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Awesome! I now have a Master of Fine Arts in Symbology! I'm debating on printing one out and hanging it in my office.

charger912 wrote in post #9540720
Awesome! I now have a Master of Fine Arts in Symbology! I'm debating on printing one out and hanging it in my office.

Congrats! And if you don't have an MBA, now's the time! Personally, I think "Doctor of Divinity" sounds good, but a Masters in "Healing Touch" might help more with the ladies.

Well, that or my new pickup line: "Excuse me, can I get your opinion on something? Does this rag smell like chloroform?"

Bodryn wrote in post #9541910
Q: Who was the heaviest knight at the round table?

A: Sir Loins-a-Lot

(apologies to RadTech)

You should apologize to all of use.

Okay - apologies to all of use.

Bodryn wrote in post #9542014
Okay - apologies to all of use.

lol

the sexually-accomplished dyslexic at the round table?

Sir Hadagal

What's the difference between "Erotic" and "Kinky"?

Erotic is using a feather - kinky is using the whole chicken!

Radtech1 wrote in post #9542958
What's the difference between "Erotic" and "Kinky"?

Erotic is using a feather - kinky is using the whole chicken!

using???

come on now, if the chicken hasn't given its consent we're entering into very murky territory

She's a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still.

bjordan wrote in post #9543573
She's a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still.

she was only the shearer's daughter, but you should've seen her crutch

lanno wrote in post #9543671


she was only the shearer's daughter, but you should've seen her crutch

She was only a cobbler's daughter, but she had a beautiful soul.

A couple are in the throes of a divorce, and are attending court over the custody of their young son.

In order to properly assess the situation, the judge takes the young lad into chambers; "Would you like to live with your mother?" asks the judge. "No" says the lad, "she hits me." "So then would you like to live with your father?" asks the judge.

"No" says the lad again, "he hits me too!" "Well who would you like to live with?" asks the judge. "I'd like to live with Saint Louis Rams" says the lad.

"Saint Louis Rams!" exclaims the judge, hardly believing his ears "Why on earth would you possibly want to live with Saint Louis Rams?" he asks.

"Because they never beat anybody!!!"

Aaagogo wrote in post #9544591
A couple are in the throes of a divorce, and are attending court over the custody of their young son.

In order to properly assess the situation, the judge takes the young lad into chambers; "Would you like to live with your mother?" asks the judge. "No" says the lad, "she hits me." "So then would you like to live with your father?" asks the judge.

"No" says the lad again, "he hits me too!" "Well who would you like to live with?" asks the judge. "I'd like to live with Saint Louis Rams" says the lad.

"Saint Louis Rams!" exclaims the judge, hardly believing his ears "Why on earth would you possibly want to live with Saint Louis Rams?" he asks.

"Because they never beat anybody!!!"

and last year it was the Detroit Lion

Given the discussions in the LR 6.5fps thread, I would have thought it was the Redskins!

Just insert the name of whatever team you love to hate.

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

"How do you know this, Sister?"

"My Mother Superior told me so."

"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"

"Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself"

"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"

"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"

"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know."

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.

"Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?"

"Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"