Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Reminds me of a true incident.

The great country singer Mel Tillis was playing in a celebrity golf tournament and one of the commentators asked him his handicap. Tillis replied, "I st-st-stutter."

20droger wrote in post #15027444
Reminds me of a true incident.

The great country singer Mel Tillis was playing in a celebrity golf tournament and one of the commentators asked him his handicap. Tillis replied, "I st-st-stutter."

English is my second language and I st-st-stutter.

On the day of the Royal Wedding, Sofia was getting dressed, surrounded by all her family, and she suddenly realized she had forgotten to get any shoes.

Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from her wedding so she lent them to Sofia for the day. Unfortunately, they were a bit too small and by the time the festivities were over Sofia's feet were in agony.

When she and Edward withdrew to their room the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off.

The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream.

Eventually they heard Edward say ''God, that was tight.''
''There,'' whispered the Queen. ''I told you she was a virgin.''

Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say. ''Right. Now for the other one.'' Followed by more grunting and straining and at last Edward said ''My God. That was even tighter.''

''That's my boy,'' said the Duke. ''Once a sailor, always a sailor.''

To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs

philwillmedia wrote in post #15031350
To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton, Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs

And I would like the complete set!

Rich Blonde:

Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't move at all.

After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her. The technician examines the car and finds
nothing wrong with it. So he turns to the blonde and asks: "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the
right gears?"

Full of anger, the blonde replies: "You fool, you idiot, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night."

Harm wrote in post #15054390
Rich Blonde:

Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't move at all.

After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her. The technician examines the car and finds
nothing wrong with it. So he turns to the blonde and asks: "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the
right gears?"

Full of anger, the blonde replies: "You fool, you idiot, how on earth you could ask such a question? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night."

And R for Racing

LOL ZGMF-X20A....Zoom Zoom Zoom!

Spiders On Drugs

I hope this counts. Cracks me up.

icopus wrote in post #15058418
Spiders On Drugs

I hope this counts. Cracks me up.

It counts all right...cracked me up too! Caffeine and alchohol are my only drugs, so I'll be looking over my shoulder for the guy on crack!

icopus wrote in post #15058418
Spiders On Drugs

I hope this counts. Cracks me up.

Good one.

icopus wrote in post #15058418
Spiders On Drugs

I hope this counts. Cracks me up.

Only in Canada, eh?

Spider video got me! I thought it was real at first!

Thoughts of Grandpa.

"When I go, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa ... unlike the other three in his car!"