Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Canajun wrote in post #15207463
Speaking of Alzheimer's, I read a long time ago that certain nursing homes. Men wre given hot chocolate with viagra...to prevent them from rolling off the bed.

I know it's an oldie

I'm getting older now and I haven't got Alzheimer's yet. *knock on wood*. Come in.

hqqns wrote in post #15207557
I'm getting older now and I haven't got Alzheimer's yet. *knock on wood*. Come in.

If it's wood you're knocking on, you won't roll off...

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teachup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No," said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

What does it mean when your dog has blue lips?

Your toilet bowl cleaner is too strong.

Nasty. Funny too

A man is walking home on a dark, foggy night when he hears a 'bump,bump,bump' sound coming from behind him.

He turns around to see a casket emerge from the fog heading towards him.

He starts to run for his house and the 'bump,bump,bump' sounds becomes faster and louder as the casket speeds up.

The man finally reaches his house, enters, and locks the door.

The door crashes in as the casket breaks through.

The man runs upstairs with the casket nipping on his heels as the lid opens and closes.

In a panic, he runs into the bathroom and locks the door.

The casket breaks down the bathroom door and moves menacingly towards the man.

In desperation, the man opens the medicine cabinet, grabs a bottle of cough syrup, throws it at the casket and the coffin stopped.

One upside to having Altzheimers is the patients can hide their own easter eggs.

Maybe so Joe, but things get ugly down the road when it's discovered they also forgot to look for them! P U !

I was In a club on Saturday night when this really ugly girl came up to me , squeezed my arse and said " give me your phone number sexy " I said " have you got a pen? " She smiled and said " yes " I said " well sod off back to it , before the farmer notices you're missing ".

hmm, I see...

Two cannibals were eating a comedian.


One said to the other,"Does this taste funny to you?"

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend in the woods?

(Think about it.)

Tiberius47 wrote in post #15221277
Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend in the woods?

(Think about it.)

that's almost as bad as:

"Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his uncle on the trail?"

I made Romney noodles Obama self!

Or:

"Did you hear the one about how the cannibal dropped the Browns off at the Super Bowl?"