Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

Troutfisher , LOL , I really cracked up on this one ..still laughing about it..

A boss calls a meeting:

Gentlemen,
I fully appreciate the need for an eye-opener upon waking.
A mid-morning pick-me-up is also understood.
A nooner is normal.
A mid-afternoon relaxer is also okay.
Many people like a cocktail in the evening.
And a nightcap before bed is pretty standard.
But this damned sip, sip, sip all day long has got to stop!

Militant feminists; I take my hat off to them. They don't like that.

So what if I can't spell armaggedon. It's not the end of the world.

The chair of the Dyslexic Society was recently given an OBE. He said, "What's the point, I can't play the bloody thing."

Good ones, Neil (shades of Tim Vine!).

neil_r wrote in post #16488057
The chair of the Dyslexic Society was recently given an OBE. He said, "What's the point, I can't play the bloody thing."

Dyslexic Society? I thought it was the National Dyslexics Association, also known as the DNA.

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16488104
Good ones, Neil (shades of Tim Vine!).

Not to mention Milton Jones.

Yes, I forgot about Milton Jones Garry.

garryknight wrote in post #16488551
Not to mention Milton Jones.

Roy Mathers wrote in post #16488616
Yes, I forgot about Milton Jones Garry.

I told you not to mention him, Roy

it's not a joke it is from a gym ads

"tired of being fat and ugly???

just be ugly , gym ......"

garryknight wrote in post #16490782
I told you not to mention him, Roy

Sorry Garry!

garryknight wrote in post #16488551
Dyslexic Society? I thought it was the National Dyslexics Association, also known as the DNA.

Now I know I'm really lexdyic.. I looked at this and thought to myself: it would have been funnier if he had written the letter out of order.

majix wrote in post #16490806
it's not a joke it is from a gym ads

"tired of being fat and ugly???

just be ugly , gym ......"

It reminded me of this...

"I may be fat but you're ugly.
And I can diet"

^^Reminds me of that old classic...


Lady Astor (a longtime enemy of Winston Churchill)... "Mr Churchill, You are drunk!"

Winston Churchill... "Lady Astor, you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober!"

^^^ I like yours better

Canajun wrote in post #16492953
^^^ I like yours better

These tiffs between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill are no doubt apocryphal, but amusing none-the-less.

Lady Astor, at a state dinner...."Mr Churchill, if you were my husband I would have poisoned your coffee years ago!"

Churchill... "Lady Astor, if I was your husband, I would have drunk it gladly!"

Those quotations are, as you can imagine Richard, very well-known in this country!