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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Immaculens
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Post edited over 8 years ago by Immaculens. (2 edits in all)
     
Apr 17, 2015 08:13 |  #6961

The town marvelled how the old man was always able to come back to shore in his row boat with so many fish. The game warden asked the old man and the old man invited him on his next trip. One morning they both venture out and row around the bend out of site of the town. The old man reaches from under him and grabs a stick of tnt, lights it and tosses it in the water. Boom! And up arises part of todays catch. Quite troubled the game warden states that he cannot ever do that again! The old man grabs another stick of tnt, lights it, and hands it to the warden, and says "now are you fishing or just talking?"



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PhotosGuy
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Apr 17, 2015 09:27 |  #6962

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?"she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied."Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair."I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently."What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "that there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."


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GibJock
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Apr 18, 2015 00:01 |  #6963

I am reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help but wishes to remain anonymous.

His wife sent him out to get some of those pills that will give him an erection.

When he came back, he handed her some diet pills. Anyway, he's looking for a place to live.

Can you help him?


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JasonMK
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Apr 20, 2015 13:59 |  #6964

Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?

A: The mermaid.


Q: How do you make a hot dog stand?

A: Take away its chair.


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Apr 20, 2015 16:44 |  #6965

Do you work for a cracker manufacturer?




  
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JasonMK
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Apr 20, 2015 18:50 |  #6966

Roy Mathers wrote in post #17525437 (external link)
Do you work for a cracker manufacturer?

Nope, just stumbled upon some jokes in a kids book. Here's another one...

Q: What happens to race car drivers when they eat too much?


A: They get indy-gestion.


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Apr 21, 2015 04:49 |  #6967

A kids' book? What a surprise!




  
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CameraMan
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Apr 22, 2015 08:17 |  #6968

Not a joke but this really happened and it's quite funny...

I moved down to Georgia in 2005. Started a new job driving a forklift. One of the things I had to do was bring product to the production lines. While I was being trained my trainer showed me the sheet we used to determine how much product we needed for the line. Every time he would put something on the line he would write "own" next to it on the check off sheet. After looking at the sheet there were 3 or 4 products that had "own" next to them. I had no idea what "own" meant as related to this product. He said (in his very thick southern accent) "thayt moins it's own tha line"...

Own = on...


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Mdnewf
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Apr 22, 2015 09:38 |  #6969
THIS POST IS ON A HIATUS!
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Harm
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Apr 22, 2015 10:08 |  #6970

oh dear....

this is on page 1 of this thread:

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THIS IS A LOW QUALITY PREVIEW. Please log in to see the good quality stuff.

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BearLeeAlive
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Apr 22, 2015 10:08 |  #6971

Haven't seen that joke repeated on here for almost a year now. That must be a record.


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Roy ­ Mathers
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Apr 22, 2015 10:23 |  #6972

mdnewf has been around for over two years - he must have seen it countless times on this forum! :lol:




  
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LV ­ Moose
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Apr 22, 2015 10:28 |  #6973

LOL. Tough crowd. ;-)a


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BearLeeAlive
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Apr 22, 2015 10:38 |  #6974

LV Moose wrote in post #17527910 (external link)
LOL. Tough crowd. ;-)a

You have a problem with that? Wanna step outside? I will send Harm out to see you right away. :)


-JIM-

  
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BearLeeAlive
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Apr 22, 2015 10:40 |  #6975

Roy Mathers wrote in post #17527896 (external link)
mdnewf has been around for over two years - he must have seen it countless times on this forum! :lol:

He only has 19 posts, so may not have seen this before, so I will forgive him for this transgression.

It is kinda funny in itself that this joke gets repeated as much as it does. ;)


-JIM-

  
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