Approve the Cookies
This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and our Privacy Policy.
OK
Index  •   • New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Guest
New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Register to forums    Log in

 
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
Search threadPrev/next
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Feb 18, 2018 17:16 |  #7681

Easter 2018 is on April 1st, April Fools Day...

Or is it?




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)
AZGeorge
Goldmember
Avatar
2,158 posts
Gallery: 3 photos
Likes: 440
Joined Dec 2010
Location: Southen Arizona
     
Feb 18, 2018 22:21 |  #7682

There are several men in the locker room of the club after finishing 18 holes.Suddenly a cell phone rang. A man picked it up and had this conversation:

"Hello?"

"Honey, It's me."

"Sugar!"

"Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I am at the mall and I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500"

"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."

"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2018 at a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $160,000..."

"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great, before we hang up, something else..."

"What Dear?"

"I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year ... it's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, tennis court, acre of park area, beach front property..."

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $10,450,000... a magnificent price"

"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but try to get them down to $10,400.

"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

"Bye... I love you too..."

The man hung up and, phone in hand, asked:

"Does anyone know who owns this phone?"


George
Democracy Dies in Darkness

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Feb 19, 2018 07:21 |  #7683

I changed the voice in my GPS from a womans voice to a mans voice. Now it says stuff like "I know it's around here somewhere" and "Just keep driving down this road a little further."




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
icopus
she got me least expecting her!
Avatar
2,257 posts
Gallery: 7 photos
Likes: 410
Joined Dec 2010
Location: In the shadows of Houston
     
Feb 19, 2018 19:24 |  #7684

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18567291 (external link)
I changed the voice in my GPS from a womans voice to a mans voice. Now it says stuff like "I know it's around here somewhere" and "Just keep driving down this road a little further."

... and, "Of course, I know where we're at."


Seeking 'kill' record. Please refrain from replying to this thread for 24 hrs.
If you want fuzzy, my card is full of that.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Feb 20, 2018 14:26 |  #7685

We bought a little motion activated dealie this morning that said "oink" every time we opened the refrigerator door.

Now we're eating pork chops. Wrapped in bacon.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
GibJock
Don’t bait the TF, it’ll backfire on you.
Avatar
9,089 posts
Gallery: 42 photos
Likes: 1567
Joined May 2013
Location: From Scotland, living in Gibraltar "A Jock on the Rock"
     
Feb 20, 2018 14:28 |  #7686

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18566947 (external link)
We bought a little motion activated dealie that said "oink" every time we opened the refrigerator door.

Now we're eating pork chops. Wrapped in bacon.

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18568405 (external link)
We bought a little motion activated dealie this morning that said "oink" every time we opened the refrigerator door.

Now we're eating pork chops. Wrapped in bacon.

So funny you decided to post it twice?  :p


flickr (external link)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Feb 20, 2018 15:28 as a reply to  @ GibJock's post |  #7687

Too ignorant to notice. Sorry.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Feb 20, 2018 15:31 |  #7688

I was on the treadmill yesterday and worked my way up to MAXIMUM SPEED. I was able to stay on it for fifteen minutes. When I finally shut it down the wheels on my roller skates were too hot to touch.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
icopus
she got me least expecting her!
Avatar
2,257 posts
Gallery: 7 photos
Likes: 410
Joined Dec 2010
Location: In the shadows of Houston
     
Feb 20, 2018 19:34 |  #7689

GibJock wrote in post #18568408 (external link)
So funny you decided to post it twice?  :p

<-- Memory impaired so it worked out well and is why I 'liked' both of them.


Seeking 'kill' record. Please refrain from replying to this thread for 24 hrs.
If you want fuzzy, my card is full of that.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Pippan
Senior Member
Avatar
914 posts
Gallery: 30 photos
Likes: 816
Joined Oct 2015
Location: Darwin, Straya
     
Feb 28, 2018 06:03 |  #7690

Do people really have to add "alive" to "sexiest woman/man" or am I seriously underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?


— Please feel free to offer your thoughts on how I might improve my images —

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
OhLook
Spiderwoman
Avatar
16,688 posts
Gallery: 70 photos
Best ofs: 2
Likes: 3729
Joined Dec 2012
Location: California: SF Bay Area
     
Feb 28, 2018 10:35 |  #7691

Pippan wrote in post #18574278 (external link)
Do people really have to add "alive" to "sexiest woman/man" or am I seriously underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?

I know that's a jokey question, but here's a serious answer. "Alive" has the same function after "sexiest . . ." as "in the world" after "necrophiliacs" in your question. Try the "sexiest" sentence with nothing there and see. "The sexiest woman on earth" sounds all right, or "the sexiest woman ever" or "the sexiest woman I've seen." Even "the all-time sexiest woman" would do. But the English-speaking mind wants something added to complete the phrase.


PRONOUN ADVISORY: OhLook is a she. | A FEW CORRECT SPELLINGS: lens, aperture, amateur, hobbyist, per se, raccoon, whoa, more so (2 wds.), shoo-in | IMAGE EDITING OK

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Mar 02, 2018 06:56 |  #7692

My buddy reminded me of him getting kicked out of a bar when he lived in Missouri in 1973 and he didn't try going back to it for 35 years but he finally made the trip back and went to the bar and as soon as he walked in someone yelled "Get the hell out of here Dennis" and that's probably the best story I've ever heard.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Mar 06, 2018 07:36 |  #7693

I'm trying hard but have failed to explain to our cat that I cannot make the outside less cold and I cannot make winter go away. She keeps asking to go outside so she can prowl, pounce and play but as soon as I open the door she looks out and then gives me a look that says something like "No, not THAT door. The one that opens to summertime, warm weather, crickets and fun. Try it one more time, human. I know you can do it. I've seen you open it before."

I'm failing my cat.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Mar 06, 2018 07:37 |  #7694

Went out over the weekend and an attractive young girl came over to my table and asked if I'd like a drink. I was feeling really good about my old self.

Then she took out a notepad and asked if I'd like something to eat as well.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
72 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 209
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Mar 07, 2018 16:14 |  #7695

For the best bug protection you can't beat Off.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

1,156,786 views & 859 likes for this thread
Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
AAA
x 1600
y 1600

Jump to forum...   •  Rules   •  Index   •  New posts   •  RTAT   •  'Best of'   •  Gallery   •  Gear   •  Reviews   •  Member list   •  Polls   •  Image rules   •  Search   •  Password reset

Not a member yet?
Register to forums
Registered members may log in to forums and access all the features: full search, image upload, follow forums, own gear list and ratings, likes, more forums, private messaging, thread follow, notifications, own gallery, all settings, view hosted photos, own reviews, see more and do more... and all is free. Don't be a stranger - register now and start posting!


COOKIES DISCLAIMER: This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and to our privacy policy.
Privacy policy and cookie usage info.


POWERED BY AMASS forum software 2.1forum software
version 2.1 /
code and design
by Pekka Saarinen ©
for photography-on-the.net

Latest registered member is mobbed2001
879 guests, 404 members online
Simultaneous users record so far is 6430, that happened on Dec 03, 2017

Photography-on-the.net Digital Photography Forums is the website for photographers and all who love great photos, camera and post processing techniques, gear talk, discussion and sharing. Professionals, hobbyists, newbies and those who don't even own a camera -- all are welcome regardless of skill, favourite brand, gear, gender or age. Registering and usage is free.