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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Hoof ­ Arted
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Mar 28, 2018 18:20 |  #7711

Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere near my left foot, but reality says it's under the lawn mower on the opposite side of the barn.




  
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icopus
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Mar 28, 2018 18:35 |  #7712

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18595989 (external link)
Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere near my left foot, but reality says it's under the lawn mower on the opposite side of the barn.

I'm glad I'm not the only one! Means I'm not crazy (but don't ask the wife).


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Mar 29, 2018 04:37 |  #7713

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18595986 (external link)
Dunno Roy Mathers. Maybe my job has twisted my sense of humor but it made me laff.

It's just that, try as I may, I can't see anything funny in it (or the remark about the screw) and don't regard it as a joke. We have must have very different senses of humour.




  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Mar 29, 2018 18:01 |  #7714

Roy Mathers wrote in post #18596193 (external link)
It's just that, try as I may, I can't see anything funny in it (or the remark about the screw) and don't regard it as a joke. We have must have very different senses of humour.

Yes. There's no rhyme nor reason for what one finds funny and another doesn't.




  
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CyberDyneSystems
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Apr 02, 2018 16:56 |  #7715

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18595989 (external link)
Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere near my left foot, but reality says it's under the lawn mower on the opposite side of the barn.


O.T. segue, but I have this work bench in my basement where I work on small projects. It's much higher than most benches and has lots of light.

Every time I work on it, I drop something. Every time.

In the years, NEVER has the item remained on the bench even though the fall is the shortest with the bench being so abnormally tall, the item I drop ALWAYS manages to ricochet or roll off the front, at which point NEVER has the item then continued to roll in the same direction. No, it ALWAYS changes direction once it hits the floor and rolls completely under the bench. The grade is small, but this is in fact, UPHILL. It always results in me on my hands and knees with a flashlight and a stick to fetch it out.

Why?

My wife often hears me alternating between cursing the damned futility of it all, and laughing hysterically because I just can't believe it's possible to always happen the same way. She must think I am losing my mind down there.


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AZGeorge
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Apr 02, 2018 23:33 |  #7716

CyberDyneSystems wrote in post #18599027 (external link)
. . . Why? . . .

Because you are a fortunate man without a black hole near his bench making search and retrieval attempts completely futile.


George
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Littlefield
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Apr 02, 2018 23:40 |  #7717

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand." Not one hand went up...so she took them home and ate them.
Don




  
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joeseph
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Apr 03, 2018 01:52 |  #7718

Don't use 'beefstew' as a password. It's not stroganoff.


some fairly old canon camera stuff, canon lenses, Manfrotto "thingy", 1D MK II (broken), and an M5, along with a M6 destined for 720nm
TF posting: here :-)

  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Apr 06, 2018 16:01 |  #7719

Two "dad jokes"


MOM: I have a fear of giants.
DAD: You have f.....
MOM: Don't you dare say it!
DAD: ...fee-fi-phobia?

Little Baby Timbelake sneezes
Both Mom and Dad Timberlake reach for a tissue at the same time
Dad Timberlake: We're so.......
Mom Timberlake: Don't you dare say it!
Dad Timberlake: ... N*Sync.




  
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GibJock
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Apr 06, 2018 16:23 as a reply to  @ Hoof Arted's post |  #7720

Understand the 2nd, but don’t consider it funny. Don’t get the first one at all.

Sorry.


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philodelphi
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Apr 06, 2018 16:30 |  #7721

I really dislike anyone who takes drugs...


...airport police, for example.


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CyberDyneSystems
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Apr 06, 2018 16:55 |  #7722

GibJock wrote in post #18601511 (external link)
.... Don’t get the first one at all.

Sorry.

Must not have read enough classic English fairy tales :)


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icopus
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Apr 06, 2018 18:27 |  #7723

GibJock wrote in post #18601511 (external link)
Understand the 2nd, but don’t consider it funny. Don’t get the first one at all.

Sorry.

Fee-fi-fo-fum (external link)


It's my life and I'll get pissed if I want to.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Apr 08, 2018 05:30 |  #7724

I walked in on my grandson flushing handfulls of Skittles down the toilet. He said every time he flushed it was like watching NASCAR from a helicopter.




  
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Apr 08, 2018 07:20 |  #7725

I don't know where you get these jokes(?) from. but I've yet to find a single one of them funny.




  
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
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