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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
john ­ crossley
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Apr 09, 2018 13:37 |  #7741

Paddy and Murphy open a pub but they don't get any customers.
Paddy says to Murphy "I think we should open a brothel."
Murphy says "But if we can't sell beer how are we going to sell broth?"


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dodgyexposure
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Apr 09, 2018 18:22 |  #7742

Not aimed at anyone.

Humour, by its nature, differs from person to person, culture to culture, day to day. "That's not funny" just means "I don't find that funny", unless you are asking for an explanation.

Personally, I enjoy reading the jokes, even those that don't tickle my funny bone. I may just learn something about some one else's culture.


Cheers, Damien

  
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GibJock
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Apr 13, 2018 05:31 |  #7743


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CyberDyneSystems
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Apr 13, 2018 19:33 |  #7744

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18602289 (external link)
I walked in on my grandson flushing handfulls of Skittles down the toilet. He said every time he flushed it was like watching NASCAR from a helicopter.

Thanks for this one,

Last night back stage someone mentioned Nascar,. I turned this around a bit and said "Nascar? An aerial view would be no different from watching skittles being flushed down the toilet" ...and it got a half dozen belly laughs. It's all in the delivery.


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Hoof ­ Arted
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Apr 17, 2018 12:38 |  #7745

Does anyone know if the guy who invented the snooze button invented anything else afterwards?




  
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Hoof ­ Arted
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Apr 17, 2018 12:39 |  #7746

CyberDyneSystems wrote in post #18606408 (external link)
Thanks for this one,

Last night back stage someone mentioned Nascar,. I turned this around a bit and said "Nascar? An aerial view would be no different from watching skittles being flushed down the toilet" ...and it got a half dozen belly laughs. It's all in the delivery.

I love it!




  
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normware
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Apr 17, 2018 13:32 |  #7747

PhotosGuy wrote in post #18602356 (external link)
Suppose you post the funniest joke that you've ever heard?

A suburban house in a boring looking street. An upstairs window. . A bent figure huddles over a table, writing. He is surrounded by bits of paper. He writes with immense concentration lining his unshaven face.)

This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes . In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.

I would post this joke but it is too dangerous


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AZGeorge
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Apr 17, 2018 14:06 |  #7748

normware wrote in post #18608622 (external link)
. . . .in a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.

I would post this joke but it is too dangerous

Thank you for saving us Mr. Serling.


George
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Left ­ Handed ­ Brisket
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Apr 17, 2018 14:20 |  #7749

why do bees have sticky hair?

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because they use honey combs.

:rolleyes:


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Capn ­ Jack
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Apr 17, 2018 18:39 |  #7750

normware wrote in post #18608622 (external link)
A suburban house in a boring looking street. An upstairs window. . A bent figure huddles over a table, writing. He is surrounded by bits of paper. He writes with immense concentration lining his unshaven face.)

This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes . In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.

I would post this joke but it is too dangerous

Is that the joke that won the war?
https://www.youtube.co​m/watch?v=q9XJeL2MNpw (external link)

Try pasting the following into Google translate:
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput




  
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normware
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Apr 18, 2018 06:35 |  #7751

Capn Jack wrote in post #18608798 (external link)
Is that the joke that won the war?
https://www.youtube.co​m/watch?v=q9XJeL2MNpw (external link)

Try pasting the following into Google translate:
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das oder die flipperwaldt gersput


the world could always use a bit of Monty Python


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Left ­ Handed ­ Brisket
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Apr 18, 2018 08:19 |  #7752

normware wrote in post #18608957 (external link)
the world could always use a bit of Monty Python

Now on Netflix!

http://www.montypython​.com/news_mpnetflix/45​3 (external link)


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Capn ­ Jack
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May 11, 2018 20:32 |  #7753

When that Noah did ground the Ark on the shores of Mt Ararat, he did set free the animals two by two, saying to each pair: "Go forth and multiply."

But a pair of serpents did come unto him, saying: "We cannot multiply, for we are Adders.

Thenceforth, Ham, Shem, and Japeth did hew down a tree and from the trunk made a Log. This they did split with axes and wedges to make from it a table. The serpents did proceed thereupon and did multiply; for even adders can multiply on a log table.




  
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PhotosGuy
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May 11, 2018 21:22 |  #7754

Capn Jack wrote in post #18624192 (external link)
...for even adders can multiply on a log table.

BOO! HISS!


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AZGeorge
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May 11, 2018 23:11 |  #7755

Capn Jack wrote in post #18624192 (external link)
. . . for even adders can multiply on a log table.

PhotosGuy wrote in post #18624216 (external link)
BOO! HISS!

Outstanding.

Yes, Boo, hiss in appreciation for the adders and Capn Jack.


George
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