Approve the Cookies
This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and our Privacy Policy.
OK
Index  •   • New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Guest
New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Register to forums    Log in

 
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
Search threadPrev/next
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)

 
chadmcm
Senior Member
297 posts
Likes: 18
Joined May 2008
Location: Vancouver, Washington
     
May 13, 2018 15:07 |  #7756

Capn Jack wrote in post #18624192 (external link)
When that Noah did ground the Ark on the shores of Mt Ararat, he did set free the animals two by two, saying to each pair: "Go forth and multiply."

But a pair of serpents did come unto him, saying: "We cannot multiply, for we are Adders.

Thenceforth, Ham, Shem, and Japeth did hew down a tree and from the trunk made a Log. This they did split with axes and wedges to make from it a table. The serpents did proceed thereupon and did multiply; for even adders can multiply on a log table.

As an engineer, I LOVE this! The rest of my family won't get it, unfortunately... Thanks for sharing.


Chad McMurry
Vancouver, WA USA

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
92 posts
Gallery: 21 photos
Likes: 271
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
May 16, 2018 07:52 |  #7757

"I like 'em big and I prefer them to be real." - me talking about Christmas trees




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
92 posts
Gallery: 21 photos
Likes: 271
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
May 27, 2018 20:14 |  #7758

I love molasses but admit I've never eaten any other part of a mole.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Capn ­ Jack
Goldmember
Avatar
1,642 posts
Gallery: 760 photos
Likes: 3917
Joined Mar 2010
Location: NE USA
     
May 27, 2018 21:14 |  #7759

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.

“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

 :p




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
92 posts
Gallery: 21 photos
Likes: 271
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
May 29, 2018 16:03 |  #7760

Flash mob.
My place.
Tomorrow.
3 pm.
Bring lawn mowers.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
joeseph
"smells like turd"
Avatar
9,477 posts
Gallery: 59 photos
Likes: 1340
Joined Jan 2004
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
     
May 30, 2018 00:09 |  #7761

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18635301 (external link)
Flash mob.
My place.
Tomorrow.
3 pm.
Bring lawn mowers.

friend of mind has a goat - would that suffice? apparently the only issue is that it eats everything.


some fairly old canon camera stuff, canon lenses, Manfrotto "thingy", 1D MK II converted for IR, and now an M5
TF posting: here :-)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Capn ­ Jack
Goldmember
Avatar
1,642 posts
Gallery: 760 photos
Likes: 3917
Joined Mar 2010
Location: NE USA
     
May 30, 2018 17:16 |  #7762

John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard so they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.


"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."


"Don't worry." John said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."


The lady agreed and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.


Come morning, the weather had cleared so they got on their way and enjoyed a great weekend of golf.


But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.


He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, "Shawn, do you remember that good looking widow on the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?"


"Yes, I do." said Shawn.


"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"


"Well, um, yes." Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."


"And did you happen to give her my name and address instead of telling her your name?"


Shawn's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."


(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you? You know you smiled... Now keep that smile for the rest of the day!!!).




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
AZGeorge
Goldmember
Avatar
2,238 posts
Gallery: 3 photos
Likes: 484
Joined Dec 2010
Location: Southen Arizona
     
May 30, 2018 17:32 |  #7763

Capn Jack wrote in post #18636024 (external link)
(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you? You know you smiled... Now keep that smile for the rest of the day!!!).

Yes I did and thanks for the smile.


George
Democracy Dies in Darkness

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
icopus
v--- finally good for somethin'! 
Avatar
2,371 posts
Gallery: 7 photos
Likes: 458
Joined Dec 2010
Location: In the shadows of Houston
     
May 30, 2018 18:55 |  #7764

I admit, I didn't see that coming either. Thanks for sharing.


Seeking 'kill' record. Please refrain from replying to this thread for 24 hrs.
If you want fuzzy, my card is full of that.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
GibJock
Don’t bait the TF, it’ll backfire on you.
Avatar
9,271 posts
Gallery: 42 photos
Likes: 1710
Joined May 2013
Location: From Scotland, living in Gibraltar "A Jock on the Rock"
     
May 31, 2018 07:49 |  #7765

icopus wrote in post #18636075 (external link)
I admit, I didn't see that coming either.

neither did the attractive widow it seems :oops:


flickr (external link)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Member
Avatar
92 posts
Gallery: 21 photos
Likes: 271
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Jun 02, 2018 14:45 |  #7766

Every evening Tom, a bird lover, stood in his back yard and hooted like an owl. One night an owl finally answered. For a year Tom and his new friend hooted back and forth. Tom started keeping a journal of his "conversations" with his feathered friend and thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter-species communication. One afternoon his wife was having tea with their neighbor. "My husband," Toms wife said, "spends his nights talking to an owl." "That's odd," said the neighbor. "So does my Roger."

And that's when it dawned on them.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
ShutterKlick
Senior Member
Avatar
324 posts
Gallery: 18 photos
Likes: 161
Joined Oct 2017
     
Jun 02, 2018 19:44 |  #7767

A Sony guy, a Nikon guy and a Canon guy were sitting on a bench..

Err, never mind, wont end pretty. :-)


"Camera rich, Cash poor"
http://shutterklick.co​m (external link)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
icopus
v--- finally good for somethin'! 
Avatar
2,371 posts
Gallery: 7 photos
Likes: 458
Joined Dec 2010
Location: In the shadows of Houston
Post edited 2 months ago by icopus.
     
Jun 05, 2018 13:48 |  #7768

Some time ago, I had heard a story told of a baby boy born with only a head. All problems were worked out and as a baby, he was happy. But as he grew older, so did his needs, wants, and desires.

Watching some neighborhood children one day, it dawned on him that maybe he could play with them. He asked his parents for some legs so he could run with his neighbors and play tag and other such games. That Christmas, his parents surprised him with legs and by that Spring, he was running around playing tag games with other kids in the neighborhood. And he made friends.

As he got older, so did the neighborhood children, and so did their games. So he asked his parents for some arms so he could play ball games and such with his friends. Again, that Christmas, he was given arms and the next Spring, he was playing marbles, baseball, and the like. His popularity grew.

Of course, he and his friends got older and soon they were playing young adult games. To play football and rugby, you need a body, so he asked his parents. That Christmas, it came to no one's surprise, he got his body. Now he could play whatever games the neighborhood kids played. He played them well and became well liked and quite popular.

Come one day, they were playing American football, and the boy went long for a pass. The pass was thrown too far, but the boy went for it anyway... and into the street. As this is a tragic story of a person overcoming his humble beginnings, the boy is hit and killed by a car.

Some may already know the lessons from this tale. But to this day, this neighborhood will never forget this moral - 'Quit while you're a head'.


Seeking 'kill' record. Please refrain from replying to this thread for 24 hrs.
If you want fuzzy, my card is full of that.
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - E.R. Murrow

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Capn ­ Jack
Goldmember
Avatar
1,642 posts
Gallery: 760 photos
Likes: 3917
Joined Mar 2010
Location: NE USA
     
Jun 12, 2018 17:38 |  #7769

Q. What does a mathematician do when he's constipated?
A. He works it out with a pencil.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
CyberDyneSystems
Admin (type T-2000)
Avatar
48,453 posts
Gallery: 84 photos
Likes: 4552
Joined Apr 2003
Location: Rhode Island USA
     
Jun 12, 2018 19:57 |  #7770

Oh no! :-P


GEAR LIST
CDS' HOT LINKS
Jake Hegnauer Photography (external link)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

1,176,356 views & 954 likes for this thread
Whats Your Favourite Joke? (TOTALLY unrelated to photography)
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
AAA
x 1600
y 1600

Jump to forum...   •  Rules   •  Index   •  New posts   •  RTAT   •  'Best of'   •  Gallery   •  Gear   •  Reviews   •  Member list   •  Polls   •  Image rules   •  Search   •  Password reset

Not a member yet?
Register to forums
Registered members may log in to forums and access all the features: full search, image upload, follow forums, own gear list and ratings, likes, more forums, private messaging, thread follow, notifications, own gallery, all settings, view hosted photos, own reviews, see more and do more... and all is free. Don't be a stranger - register now and start posting!


COOKIES DISCLAIMER: This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and to our privacy policy.
Privacy policy and cookie usage info.


POWERED BY AMASS forum software 2.1forum software
version 2.1 /
code and design
by Pekka Saarinen ©
for photography-on-the.net

Latest registered member is racin06
723 guests, 305 members online
Simultaneous users record so far is 6430, that happened on Dec 03, 2017

Photography-on-the.net Digital Photography Forums is the website for photographers and all who love great photos, camera and post processing techniques, gear talk, discussion and sharing. Professionals, hobbyists, newbies and those who don't even own a camera -- all are welcome regardless of skill, favourite brand, gear, gender or age. Registering and usage is free.