Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer said I a ferry heffie Cherman accent

Only von, but zee light bulb hass reeealy got to vant to change !

Why German?

Because Austria is a German-speaking country and Freud was born there?

Tenuous! (Anyway, Freud isn't the only psychiatrist )

Do you know what DNA stands for?

The National Dyslexics Association.

Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*
Guess who has the Addams Family theme song stuck in their head?
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*
You
Duh Duh Duh Dum
Duh Duh Duh Dum
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*

A guy and his wife went to the mall and their car broke down in the parking lot. The guy told his wife to go ahead and shop while he stayed to fix the car.

When the wife returned she saw several people around the car and saw her husband's hairy legs sticking out from underneath it. Although he was wearing a pair of shorts, he wasn't wearing underpants and his private parts were exposed for everyone to see. She dutifully stepped forward and put her hand up his shorts, gently and efficiently tucking everything into place. When she stood up she was surprised to see her husband was talking to another man near the back of the car.

The mechanic, however, had to get six stitches in his forehead.

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18796641
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*
Guess who has the Addams Family theme song stuck in their head?
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*
You
Duh Duh Duh Dum
Duh Duh Duh Dum
Duh Duh Duh Duhm*click click*

It is a fun tune. The show was a favorite when I was a kid.

Book cover...
The Lion's Revenge
By Claude Balls

Photo from Capn Jack's gallery.
Image hosted by forum (957278)

Three friends married women from different parts of the country.

The first man married a woman from Alabama. He told her that she was To do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on The third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from South Dakota .. He gave his wife Orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Texas ... He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he walks.

Now That's a crack up!

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18796641
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*
Guess who has the Addams Family theme song stuck in their head?
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*
You
Duh Duh Duh Dum
Duh Duh Duh Dum
Duh Duh Duh Dum *click click*

Hehe Ive resisted the temptation to google that so these words mean nothing to me. Youre on your own pal

itsallart wrote in post #18796822
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he walks.

Oh my. Oh my .
We're still laughing DownUnder.
That deserves the prize.
Trouble is, whilst my wife laughed, she then cautioned what might come into play!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed? "Breast-fed," she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for awhile in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.''

"I know," she said, "I'm his grandma, but now I am glad I'm here."

HA!