Approve the Cookies
This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and our Privacy Policy.
OK
Index  •   • New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Guest
New posts  •   • RTAT  •   • 'Best of'  •   • Gallery  •   • Gear  •   • Reviews
Register to forums    Log in

 
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
Search threadPrev/next
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
Spencerphoto
Senior Member
725 posts
Gallery: 70 photos
Likes: 1287
Joined Sep 2018
Location: Brisbane
Post edited 2 months ago by Spencerphoto.
     
Aug 24, 2019 02:18 |  #8686

I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure ...


5D3, 7D2, EF 16-35 f/2.8L, EF 24-70 f/2.8L II, EF 24-105 f/4L, EF 70-200 f/2.8L II, EF 100-400 f/4.5-5.6L II, EF 1.4x III, Sigma 150mm macro, Lumix LX100 plus a cupboard full of bags, tripods, flashes & stuff.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)
Hoof ­ Arted
Senior Member
Avatar
367 posts
Gallery: 40 photos
Likes: 979
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Aug 24, 2019 06:03 |  #8687

So a rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah...




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
backn4th
Senior Member
Avatar
652 posts
Gallery: 340 photos
Likes: 1101
Joined Nov 2014
Location: 'straya
Post edited 2 months ago by backn4th.
     
Aug 24, 2019 14:30 |  #8688

Heidi and Otto were walking naked, hand in hand along the water's edge at their regular naturist beach.
Walking toward them were another couple, carrying a canoe inverted over their heads.
Him in front, her behind.
Having passed the other couple, Heidi asked Otto 'wasn't that Dick Brown'?




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
john ­ crossley
Goldmember
Avatar
2,680 posts
Likes: 895
Joined Nov 2009
     
Aug 25, 2019 11:11 |  #8689


HOSTED PHOTO
please log in to view hosted photos in full size.


It never ceases to amaze me how dense intelligent people are.
I’ve had more intelligent conversations with lobotomised amoebas.
.- -. --- - .... . .-. -- --- .-. --- -. .. -.-. -- --- .-. --- -. .- -.. -.. . -.. - --- -- -.-- .. --. -. --- .-. . .-.. .. ... -

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
avondale87
Cream of the Crop
Avatar
5,250 posts
Gallery: 463 photos
Likes: 21714
Joined Dec 2010
Location: Tasmania
     
Aug 25, 2019 17:08 as a reply to  @ john crossley's post |  #8690

bw!:-P:love:



Richard

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
NixEre
Goldmember
Avatar
1,122 posts
Gallery: 148 photos
Likes: 397
Joined Oct 2013
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Post edited 2 months ago by NixEre.
     
Aug 28, 2019 04:57 as a reply to  @ john crossley's post |  #8691

Thanks to the colonies... :rolleyes: :p


___
Nic
One day I'll take the photo I thought I had taken ...

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Senior Member
Avatar
367 posts
Gallery: 40 photos
Likes: 979
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Aug 28, 2019 05:54 |  #8692

I took my favorite pair of boots to a new shoe shop last week and said "I want these soled." When I went back yesterday he gave me $15 and said "I sold them."




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Senior Member
Avatar
367 posts
Gallery: 40 photos
Likes: 979
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Aug 31, 2019 06:37 |  #8693

What's real big, grey, and wears glass slippers?

Cinderella-phant.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Hoof ­ Arted
Senior Member
Avatar
367 posts
Gallery: 40 photos
Likes: 979
Joined Oct 2017
Location: Hocking County, Ohio USA
     
Aug 31, 2019 06:38 |  #8694

People don't starve in the desert because of all the sand which is there.




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
soeren
Whoops Im not updated
689 posts
Gallery: 1 photo
Likes: 317
Joined Nov 2017
Post edited 2 months ago by soeren.
     
Aug 31, 2019 06:47 |  #8695

Fun facts. There are more airplanes in the sea than U-boats in the air.

If we took out all your intestines and laid them out on the ground........... you will die


If history has proven anything. it's that evolution always wins!!

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Jonzjob
Member
Avatar
192 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 325
Joined Apr 2012
Location: Ex Nr Carcassonne S France. Now NW Wiltshire, Blighty
     
Aug 31, 2019 15:12 |  #8696

Hoof Arted wrote in post #18919635 (external link)
People don't starve in the desert because of all the sand which is there.

No, they probably do so at McDoDo's because of all the sandwiches there :rolleyes:


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Jonzjob
Member
Avatar
192 posts
Gallery: 12 photos
Likes: 325
Joined Apr 2012
Location: Ex Nr Carcassonne S France. Now NW Wiltshire, Blighty
     
Aug 31, 2019 15:12 |  #8697

When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. (I know, a tear is coming to my eye too)

All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife
and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though...


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
kiwichris
I forget how I didded that!
3,229 posts
Gallery: 171 photos
Likes: 877
Joined Oct 2008
Location: Milford Auckland NZ
     
Sep 01, 2019 22:01 |  #8698

Two young boys walked into a Pharmacy one day, picked out a packet of tampons and proceeded to the check out.

The man at the check out asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied,"Not exactly but they aren't for me, they are for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on tv that if you use these you should be able to ride a bike and swim. Right now, he can't do either!"


Panasonic Lumix G9 and lenses from 7mm wide to 300mm long.
http://www.flickr.com/​photos/chriswaynzpics/ (external link)

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
pbigelow
Goldmember
2,417 posts
Likes: 487
Joined Dec 2009
     
Sep 02, 2019 08:09 |  #8699

After the tourist had been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, He
beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a
luvly, luvly lady; Can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"
"Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl.

Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, "Sure, why not? You're
nice lookin' too and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just
slip away up to your room?"

When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same
table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"

"Why yes," replied the southern gentleman. "Ah sure'preciate what y'all
Just did for me; it was real sweet and right neighborly, but where ah come
from in Arkansas, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need
to trouble y'all for a piece uh ass for mah drink."




  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
Pippan
Goldmember
Avatar
1,832 posts
Gallery: 168 photos
Likes: 2870
Joined Oct 2015
Location: Darwin, Straya
     
Sep 03, 2019 01:34 |  #8700

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well dressed man on a tricycle?

A tyre.


— Please feel free to offer your thoughts on how I might improve my images —

  
  LOG IN TO REPLY
sponsored links
(this ad will go away when you log in as a registered member)

1,945,350 views & 2,729 likes for this thread
Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)
FORUMS Community Talk, Chatter & Official Stuff The Lounge 
AAA
x 1600
y 1600

Jump to forum...   •  Rules   •  Index   •  New posts   •  RTAT   •  'Best of'   •  Gallery   •  Gear   •  Reviews   •  Member list   •  Polls   •  Image rules   •  Search   •  Password reset

Not a member yet?
Register to forums
Registered members may log in to forums and access all the features: full search, image upload, follow forums, own gear list and ratings, likes, more forums, private messaging, thread follow, notifications, own gallery, all settings, view hosted photos, own reviews, see more and do more... and all is free. Don't be a stranger - register now and start posting!


COOKIES DISCLAIMER: This website uses cookies to improve your user experience. By using this site, you agree to our use of cookies and to our privacy policy.
Privacy policy and cookie usage info.


POWERED BY AMASS forum software 2.1forum software
version 2.1 /
code and design
by Pekka Saarinen ©
for photography-on-the.net

Latest registered member is gardenchefs
843 guests, 311 members online
Simultaneous users record so far is 15144, that happened on Nov 22, 2018

Photography-on-the.net Digital Photography Forums is the website for photographers and all who love great photos, camera and post processing techniques, gear talk, discussion and sharing. Professionals, hobbyists, newbies and those who don't even own a camera -- all are welcome regardless of skill, favourite brand, gear, gender or age. Registering and usage is free.