I called one of my girlfriends Spanners, 'cause she tightened my nuts
So as we don't miss the day we celebrate the 28th and the 1st
I may be mad, but I try not to be stupid
I hope your wife's not reading this John
You might get creamed yourself and all your leap years come to a swift end
A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.
Thats when I made my mistake.
"What did you do?", asked the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"