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Thread started 26 Sep 2005 (Monday) 09:27
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Whats Your Favorite Joke? (Please don't report bad jokes)

 
OhLook
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Mar 25, 2021 09:54 |  #9961

Capn Jack wrote in post #19213441 (external link)
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic
The nurse asked the rabbit "What is your blood type?"
The rabbit replied "I'm probably a type-O"

I enjoy that joke, but–

Jonzjob wrote in post #19101836 (external link)
A vicar, a rabbit, and a priest walk into the bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit ‘what’ll you have?’.

The rabbit replies ‘I dunno, I’m only here because of autocorrect’

Gregsiem wrote in post #19211561 (external link)
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"

"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.


PRONOUN ADVISORY: OhLook is a she. | A FEW CORRECT SPELLINGS: lens, aperture, amateur, hobbyist, per se, raccoon, whoa, more so (2 wds.), shoo-in | Comments welcome

  
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NixEre
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Mar 25, 2021 10:15 |  #9962

Let's move on

have you heard the one about ...

A rabbi, a priest, and a monkey walked into a blood donation clinic.
The nurse asked the monkey "What is your blood type?"
The monkey replied "I'm probably a type-O"

hee haw


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Nic
One day I'll take the photo I thought I had taken ...

  
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Capn ­ Jack
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Post edited 1 month ago by Capn Jack.
     
Mar 25, 2021 12:35 |  #9963

OhLook wrote in post #19213502 (external link)
I enjoy that joke, but–

Thanks. ;-)a
How about this one:
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus




  
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WorkingClassHero
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Mar 26, 2021 03:23 |  #9964

Today I spotted an albino Dalmatian.

It was the least I could do for him.


ALAN
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drifter106
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Mar 26, 2021 18:35 |  #9965

My wife and I were "debating" about the price difference between the newest technology for fishing graphs. You can get a 9" screen for $1999.00, but the 12" screen is an absurd $2999.00. I asked her if she thought it was worth the $1000.00 for the difference. She said, "if YOU had three more inches I'd buy you a new boat!"


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Remember, what is common knowledge to some is a revelation to others.

  
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NixEre
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Mar 27, 2021 02:19 |  #9966

At a Chinese food stall

"Bowl of odles please"

"Anything to go with that?"

"No, please"

:twisted:


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Nic
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avondale87
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Mar 27, 2021 19:05 |  #9967

True storey from last night  :p
The phone went off at3:30 am.
It woke me and apparently the wife too.
I didn't sense she stirred, but when we finally woke, wife lot later than me, she mentioned the phone call. About the first thing she mentioned.

I said "I was hoping you wouldn't wake up agreeing with the nuisance factor.

Not the most endearing thing to say to your long enduring wife when she first wakes in the morning :-P



Richard

  
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Mar 28, 2021 05:40 |  #9968

Explain please.




  
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avondale87
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Mar 28, 2021 06:00 |  #9969

Roy Mathers wrote in post #19214868 (external link)
Explain please.

If that's to me I imagine no wife would want to hear from her husband "I was hoping you wouldn't wakeup"
I was referring to the 3:30 phone call. But she could have thought that was my greeting for the morning
She immediately saw the funny side of the conversation



Richard

  
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Jonzjob
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Mar 28, 2021 07:37 |  #9970

They do things differently down on their heads Roy :rolleyes:

Well, I mean, they even spend Christmas on the beach sometimes :eek:


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
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Roy ­ Mathers
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Mar 28, 2021 09:50 |  #9971

Jonzjob wrote in post #19214908 (external link)
They do things differently down on their heads Roy :rolleyes:

Obviously!




  
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john ­ crossley
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Mar 29, 2021 13:54 |  #9972

As the Ever Given is sailing along the Suez Canal the first mate says to the captain, “if you steer to the right a bit you can almost see the Great Pyramid of……….oooppppsss!!!


I've just caught my wedding vegetables in the flange!!!
You've got the face of an angel and the willy of the Loch Ness monster.

  
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Jonzjob
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Mar 29, 2021 16:48 |  #9973

He must have had his TomTom set on the car setting?


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
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Jonzjob
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Apr 02, 2021 03:15 |  #9974

I would like to send everyone a special greeting on this special day, Good Friday, from my lovely Easter bunnies.


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Oh dear! They seem to have something else on their minds, but

A Very Happy Easter from me anyway.

My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
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Jonzjob
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Apr 16, 2021 11:20 |  #9975

For our trans Atlantique cousins, a courgette is a zookini, or how ever you spell that strange worm?-?

Then there’s the one about the market trader - a greengrocer (he sells fruit and vegetables), all beautifully laid out on display.

One Monday he’s standing by his stall when he notices a little old lady rootling about his vegetables, making a mess out of it all.

The greengrocer, being a friendly sort of chap, says to her, ”Can I help you, love?”

“I’m looking for some courgettes”, she said.

“I’m sorry Darling,” he replied, “We won’t any until early next week”.

The old woman mutters under her breath and walks off.

The following day, she’s back again. And once again, she’s moving carrots, cucumbers and cabbages about all over the place.

The man comes over, a bit more sternly than before. “What are you looking for?”, says he.

“I want some courgettes”, says the little old lady.

“I did tell you yesterday that we won’t have any until next week!” says your man.

Once again, the little lady goes away, muttering.

On Wednesday, she’s back again causing an upheaval with the display.

“What do you think you are doing woman?”, says the greengrocer

“Im looking for some courgettes”, came the reply.

“Do me a favour, girl. Spell courgettes using the letter ‘f’".

The old girl thinks for a moment. There’s no ‘f’ in courgettes", she says.

The greengrocer says, "That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all week!"

Thinks! Is a zookini like a bikini for vegetables ? -?


My ambition for a good while is to grow old disgracefully. So far my wife tells me that I am doing really well!
https://johnamandiers.​wixsite.com/johns-w-o-w-1 (external link)
John.

  
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