friend's wedding, do? or do not?

uOpt wrote in post #12299458
Don't lose the memory card

You might be concerned about your abilities but if they hire somebody really cheap they can get bad stuff, a no-show or (worst) a show who never surrenders the pictures, or holds them hostage with new financial demands.

actually just heard a horror story from a friend of a friend about this, where they had to bring the guy to court to try to get the pictures, and even then, they were pretty sure the guy only surrendered a fraction of what he shot.

You know the funny thing is many people ask questions when they have their mind made up already. They are looking to justify their decision.

I am sure you have thought this out already... You pointed out their money issues.You mention about how long you have until the wedding. You stated there are three weddings that you are attending.. You stated that you feel you are better than some of the wedding photographers she is interviewing.

So no matter what input you receive, I believe you have you mind made up already.

To me it seems you want to do this..Sooooo do it...

Just so you know, you will not have fun at her wedding and you will be running around a lot *L*

My brother was recently married and he said.. I want you to enjoy my wedding day with the family and friends so I am hiring a photographer...

scorpio_e wrote in post #12304554
You know the funny thing is many people ask questions when they have their mind made up already. They are looking to justify their decision.

I am sure you have thought this out already... You pointed out their money issues.You mention about how long you have until the wedding. You stated there are three weddings that you are attending.. You stated that you feel you are better than some of the wedding photographers she is interviewing.

So no matter what input you receive, I believe you have you mind made up already.

To me it seems you want to do this..Sooooo do it...

there's 2 sides to it, and they're in conflict.

the reasons that I want to do it, is to try it out.. that is completely independent of who they are. friend or not. I simply want to see what it's like to actually be the guy.

the reason that I DON'T want to do it, is that she's a friend, and at my current skillset / comfort level, I would be doing her a disservice.

I guess a better way to ask the question would be: is it enough time for me to learn to do it properly? It's somewhat unrealistic for me to be able to search out to practice as an assistant photographer. My weekends are often rather full. how far will reading how-tos, and looking at examples get me?

How far will reading get you? I would say about 20% of the way there, tops. I fiund being a wedding photographer, especially when they do not have a coordinator, is mostly about directing people and managing time. These things you cannot learn from a book, at least not one that I have come across. Nothing can really prepare you for the stress of the day, running behind schedule and knowing where you can catch up in their timeline, what to sacrifice and what has to be shot. Of course, these are on an individual basis and can only be learned by shooting weddings.

I think you can do it. You seem competent, willing to learn and if she is looking at the $500 CL photogs, as long as you can hit focus and exposure (or at least get exposure right in post) you will be ahead of 75% that i have seen.

If she has shopped around, and you will be doing it, then ask her to send you links to must-have shots and make a list. Then practice to that.

oredith wrote in post #12304602
there's 2 sides to it, and they're in conflict.

the reasons that I want to do it, is to try it out.. that is completely independent of who they are. friend or not. I simply want to see what it's like to actually be the guy.

the reason that I DON'T want to do it, is that she's a friend, and at my current skillset / comfort level, I would be doing her a disservice.

I guess a better way to ask the question would be: is it enough time for me to learn to do it properly? It's somewhat unrealistic for me to be able to search out to practice as an assistant photographer. My weekends are often rather full. how far will reading how-tos, and looking at examples get me?

Soo now I understand

To me it's a win win as long as you are not planning on having a good time. She would be better off with you rather than a CL photographer.

Like others have said..books-examples and tutorial only get you so far. When you are in the moment, a lot of those vision you have fly out the window*LOL* You have to go with the flow of the wedding.

I was doing one on one instruction with a wedding photographer. She had no clue how to adjust apertures or use the CLS on her Nikon system. The camera systems have REALLY shortened the learning curve.

Good luck..I know there is more of you wanting to do this than not do this

well, they haven't had any sort of engagement photos taken, so I told her to set aside a few hours on a couple weekends, and we can let me practice.. figured that'd be a good way to get some semi-appropriate practice in, in a low/no-stress environment.

If it were me, and I HAVE been in your position, I would offer to do an engagement session for them, as your gift, and leave your camera home at the wedding. You said she is a good friend, and you should be enjoying her special day as a friend, not working it. Not only would you be working it, it would be working under very stressful conditions given your inexperience with weddings. You wouldn't be able to enjoy the day, her OTHER friends will be able to to do that, talk to her family and mutual friends, meet new people, you will be running around like a mad man, stressed out. That she isn't willing or able to make photography a budget priority is too bad, but it shouldn't be made your problem. I'm assuming she can't afford a honeymoon, but regardless, the real work in wedding photography takes place AFTER the wedding and while everyone else has the wedding behind them, you are left with a ton of work preparing the photos. Do it only if you have considered all these things, and still WANT to do it, not out of some misguided sense of obligation or sympathy for the bride. I think she has a lot of nerve to ask anyone to do that for free, but that's just my opinion. You can either attend a wedding as a guest or work it, but you can't do both and enjoy the full experience, so pick one. Good luck with your decision.

Well, to build on that, I will tell you a true story. My wife and I were asked to shoot a relative's wedding. I am lucky, because my wife is a better people photog that I am, so I just get some second shooter stuff, no stress. My wife said no, we do not get paid, this is a gift. We get there, only to find out that we are not really invited, we are there for work. We got fed, at a table way out of sight off the grid, called as the last table for the buffet, and we had to pay for our own drinks.

So, will people use you for free work? Yes. Can you know that in advance? Not always.

Was there cost cutting on the food? Alcohol? Venue? Dress? In our case, no. Just on the photography.

This was the only time I can remember when my wife actually said, out loud, that I was right.

That made it worth it.

At the end, although there was a lot of talk about prints, and oh how they really appreciated it and wanted my wife to get a few dollars for 'a few hours' of time (sic) they took copies and put them on facebook. They did have prints made. At Walmart.

sign of a good friend:

another friend that's having a wedding this year. I was talking to her about taking pictures (she DID spend the money and hire real pros). she told me to not worry about taking pictures, bring a camera (because she knows I don't go anywhere without one) instead of 2, bring just 1 lens, and enjoy myself at the wedding!..

Cool. In the end, if you enjoy something, you should do it. You may be just a bit young to understand, but tempus fugit. Live at full throttle.

There ought to be a "sticky" on this subject as it comes up often in just about ever forum involving photography.

I'll try to offer a different perspective:

1st the budget. You mentioned that they had looked at a few high ticket shooters and because of budget, took them out of the running. Are you friends enough to get a figure on how much they are spending on the wedding? (surely if someone is a close enough "friend" for me to spend >$1000 on a 'wedding gift' as some have suggested, the couple ought to be willing to discuss actual numbers.)

The last few weddings I've attended (shooting or not) cost less than $1000 EACH. (for EVERYTHING)

Obviously weddings come in all shapes and sizes. If they are spending close to 5 figures on the wedding, they ought to hire a professional shooter. If they are spending less than $5000 for everything (so far without photography) they still ought to strongly consider a professional. If they are spending $2400 or less on the entire wedding, they ought to strongly consider having a few "uncle bobs" to the photography for free.

Only you and your friends know where their budget falls.

2nd is this really a "once in a life time" event? Very few people in my age group were married ONLY ONCE. Most are on their 3rd and a few are on their 5th or 6th!! Each time one of these things happen the focus shifts some. The couple that I photographed with my P&S in front of a Judge (7 people in the wedding party including ME) was not concerned about the $$ they were spending or about photography. (the last handful of weddings I've attended did NOT have a Pro shooting it.)

3rd the actual photography. Almost every NON-Photographer male friends of mine could not care less about photography or having pictures. Almost %80-100 of the interest comes from the bride to be and/or the mothers of the bride or groom. If you have a HONEST and frank discussion with the couple and see what kind of coverage they would like to have and what services you might feel comfortable providing, maybe you all can come to an agreement.

Some of the younger generation is perfectly happy getting MP3's instead of a full CD, video CD's instead of a DVD. Pre-prepared food instead of made from scratch. (and a bunch of other examples)
I look at younger friends FB pages where their P&S and photo-phone snapshot images of their wedding are displayed and shared proudly and wonder what all the fuss is about.

oredith wrote in post #12298946
First off, I have read, and fully appreciate how stressful wedding photography can be. You guys definitely EARN it.

I've got a good friend, and she and fiance are in pretty tight budget bind with their wedding, and while I have continuously told her that I will NOT be her wedding photographer, because I do not want to screw up capturing her big day, the bottom line is, the budget is just not adding up. she's now interviewing photographers who are shooting with some really entry level gear, and their portfolio is looking much more like snap-shots. I'm now getting torn internally on if I should do this or not, because I'm pretty damn sure I can get better shots than this latest batch of photographers she's interviewing. I mean, I know a skilled photographer can do wonders with an XTi, 50 f/1.8, a kit lens, and a 430 flash, but THESE guys' portfolios do not inspire confidence, and they are shooting with no backup cameras, which is just insane to me!

I think I have a decent spectrum of gear (see below) to be able to cover her wedding, but the reality is, I shoot as a hobby - motorsports, and wildlife. I have a so-so eye for lighting, but basically, it's available light, and making the best of what I've got. I shoot in Av or Tv priority mostly, and rarely do any "creative" work with my 430ex / lightsphere.

The wedding isn't until March 2012, so I would have lots of time to practice if I'm to take this on, but i'm still uncomfortable with it, and still hoping that they can sort out the funding to hire a real pro by then, but I just hate seeing my friend stressing day in and day out over this.

what would you do, if you were in my position?

some of this isn't making any sense to me. it does seem like you're trying to rationalize shooting something you're unqualified for. I get that it would benefit YOU by gaining the experience of this wedding, but this should be about your "friend" and what benefits her. The thing that confuses me most is how you know so much about who she's interviewing, their portfolios, and their gear. (Bolding above is mine.) Have you been going to the interviews with her and the groom? Looked at their portfolios and discussed their gear? Are you asking these questions? Is she? Or is she telling you this to get a "deal" from you out of pity? The wedding is almost a year away. He's out of work, so why did they even look at 4-5K photogs anyway? People have small weddings on a small budget all the time.