JOSX2 wrote in post #13539333
x2 on what hawkeye said.
But also (& someone please correct me if I'm wrong)...the closer the light source, the harsher the contrast between light & dark will be too, so that'd produce harsher shadows. The further away, the contrast lessens to soften the shadows. Inverse Square law:
http://www.adorama.com …erse-Square-Law-AdoramaTV
. Fast forward to 4:15
You'd prolly want a larger lightsource further away from your subject
Ah. Sounds good. This makes a lot of sense... unless of course someone says you're wrong, in which case - shut up! 
I'll tinker a bit - Seemed like I was losing "dynamic range" and this would explain it best. Thanks!
For example, this picture:
It was lit with the bare flash pointed 45 degrees at the opposite wall/celing and appears a lot softer to me, other than the shadow to the immediate left side of the camera.... and you can just ignore those blown highlights

And yes, my room is painted 18% grey
