What would you do?

So my wife was invited to her co-worker's "post wedding" dinner so automatically I was invited as well. Apparently they had an out of state wedding and were hosting this dinner for local friends, co-workers, etc. Of course my photography services were volunteered, as usually is the case.

This was a few weeks ago. All I knew back then was: a) co-worker b) get-together of some friends and co-workers c) dinner at some restaurant d) I had to take some photos.

OK, not really an issue.

So today is the day. My wife emails me and tells me that:

1. The husband works for a TV station.
   
2. This was actually arranged by folks at the TV station.
   
3. Guests will be mostly from the TV station and some friends.
   
4. People who actually appear on TV might be there.
   
5. The restaurant is a restaurant owned by a personal chef of a very famous person. It's not yet opened to the public.

Heh! Wow, talk about feeling on the spot!

Maybe bring some gear but leave it in the car. Have some fun, get to know some people, and only fetch the gear if things are in a "comfort zone" for ya!

One big consideration to me would be the lighting -- I'd want a fair amount of ambient light and also some ability to bounce flash and such to avoid a "snapshot look"...

What does the couple want?

Also, networking opportunities and possibility of future business from these people?

tonylong wrote in post #13550031
Heh! Wow, talk about feeling on the spot!

Maybe bring some gear but leave it in the car. Have some fun, get to know some people, and only fetch the gear if things are in a "comfort zone" for ya!

One big consideration to me would be the lighting -- I'd want a fair amount of ambient light and also some ability to bounce flash and such to avoid a "snapshot look"...

I wasn't really talking about lighting and everything. Sure, I'll handle all that. Not problem. I was merely asking regarding the situation itself, how the circumstances have changed so much that I didn't think it was entirely appropriate that I be there as a guest with a camera just shooting away, despite the fact that my services were indeed volunteered.

I just feel that it's now an entirely different event. Not just a get together with some friends and co-workers, but now with potentially exclusive guests from the TV station. (I won't name which one, but suffice it to say I'm in NYC and it's one of the major ones)

Numenorean wrote in post #13550043
What does the couple want?

Also, networking opportunities and possibility of future business from these people?

The bride is my wife's co-worker. She was invited. Hence I was invited. Hence my photography service was volunteered by my wife and the bride was happy to accept. That was a few weeks ago.

Like I mentioned in my post, TODAY, I found out all the other details...that this wasn't even being arranged by the couple, but the husband's company, the TV Station, and that potentially there might be high profile people there, whatever that means, in a not-yet-open-to-the-public restaurant owned by a personal chef of a very, very famous person. Dare I say, one of the most famous person in the country/world.

I have no vested interested in any of this, except to be there with my wife, since she requested my presence. Networking opportunities? Perhaps. I've thought about that. But honestly, again, I just wanted to be there since my wife asked me to be there.

Heh! Well, the first part of my suggestion still stands, although in NYC I imagine you'd be using a cab and not a car? Maybe bring a bag in and leave it with the coat area untill you decide whether or not you are comfortable shooting?

I think I would talk to the couple and see what they want. Though if I was there to shoot, I would shoot and do it as if it were a paid professional shoot. That may not jive with your wife though.

tonylong wrote in post #13550115
Heh! Well, the first part of my suggestion still stands, although in NYC I imagine you'd be using a cab and not a car? Maybe bring a bag in and leave it with the coat area untill you decide whether or not you are comfortable shooting?

Yeah, the thing is, my wife volunteered my services and she still wants me to shoot, despite the new set of circumstances. My feeling is that under the changed circumstances, to scope things out, then decide if I want to actually shoot like a hired gun, or just take some snaps.

I am having a difficult time convincing my wife that with the whole TV station twist, I might have to feel things out first.

Numenorean wrote in post #13550153
I think I would talk to the couple and see what they want. Though if I was there to shoot, I would shoot and do it as if it were a paid professional shoot. That may not jive with your wife though.

No, actually, that's what my wife wants to do, and I wouldn't have any issues with that except the couple didn't arrange this get-together, the husband's company did. And again, there may be "high profile" people there, and I am 100% sure they aren't expecting a hired photographer to be shooting photos.

I just don't want to end up being that guy with the camera shooting all those photos when it's not welcomed.

nicksan wrote in post #13549764
My thinking was with all the TV related people there, and the fact that it now sounds like a super exclusive get-together, I didn't want to be THAT guy with the camera.

I empathize with you in a big way. I often get roped into similar events, and then usually I end up being a second-class attendee of sorts. Very occasionally it works out that being "the photographer" gives me some access/attention that I wouldn't necessarily get as one of the many guests, but usually the high-profile guests end up being more aloof to me than they are to the others--or else they simply seem confused about me. It's just awkward most of the time.

i would do what you normally do when your wife volunteers you take to pictures. i don't see how the high profile people change the intimate nature of the event. bring whatever gear you normally would bring, and then talk to the bride when you get there. see what she's interested in doing.

Do it for your wife...

Seriously, she has requested this based on her friendship with the bride.

If you say no now, her friendship with the other person may suffer.


*Brownie point time*



But go in casual and super candid.

If the studio folks start treating you as the paid photographer, offer to sell the studio the pics...

A big camera is a superb ice breaking tool.

Also, think of the networking potential...

Phrasikleia wrote in post #13550254
I empathize with you in a big way. I often get roped into similar events, and then usually I end up being a second-class attendee of sorts. Very occasionally it works out that being "the photographer" gives me some access/attention that I wouldn't necessarily get as one of the many guests, but usually the high-profile guests end up being more aloof to me than they are to the others--or else they simply seem confused about me. It's just awkward most of the time.

Yeah, this is definitely true and this happened number of times. I actually wasn't worried about this. I was more worried about being intrusive to the TV folks. Didn't want to be that pain in the ass guy with the camera. Not so much worried about them dismissing me as a secondary citizen, but yeah, I hate it when that happens too.

Jimbers wrote in post #13550359
i would do what you normally do when your wife volunteers you take to pictures. i don't see how the high profile people change the intimate nature of the event. bring whatever gear you normally would bring, and then talk to the bride when you get there. see what she's interested in doing.

Yeah, maybe you are right. I have my 5D2, 24L, 50L, 85L, 85L, and 580EXII in my bag ready to go. Hey, I am an artist right?

mtimber wrote in post #13550386
Do it for your wife...

Seriously, she has requested this based on her friendship with the bride.

If you say no now, her friendship with the other person may suffer.

*Brownie point time*



But go in casual and super candid.

If the studio folks start treating you as the paid photographer, offer to sell the studio the pics...

That's the only reason why I am going. She asked me to come with her, and I said yes. I kinda had a feeling she was going to volunteer my services, so I wasn't surprised. It's just that circumstances have changed by a lot.

mtimber wrote in post #13550398
A big camera is a superb ice breaking tool.

Also, think of the networking potential...

Perhaps. I am actually intrigued. I mean, who might be there right? Would I recognize anyone? But at the end of the day, I just want to be there for my wife and represent her well.

More details.

The groom's best friend, who also works at the TV station is the one who arranged for this and is paying for it and most of the guests will be on his side, not the bride's. So he's the man in charge. I sure hope he knows about my presence because I'm the husband of the bride's co-worker.

Why I always find myself in this type of situation is beyond me...