It can be very frustrating to establish a reliable color managed workflow without clear references. If you are trying to establish the workflow for printing, then the final print is your reference. Here is the mindset you should get into:
You are not trying to match your print to your display, you are trying to match your display to your print.
Think of the process this way - you make an exposure with your camera, transfer the file to your computer and print it with the proper printer/paper profile on your printer (or get it printed at a lab). This is the reference. If you could print without even looking at the image on your display, you could literally eliminate the display from the process. This is what the image SHOULD look like (ignore any enhancements you might make in Photoshop, etc.) for your camera and printer/paper combination.
Now, the print can appear different depending upon the lighting conditions used to view it. This lighting will affect the White Point and Luminance you want to target when you calibrate and profile your display. Thus, you ned to establish your lighting/viewing conditions before you start selecting calibration target values for your display. So, get a Solux daylight bulb and you have fixed the reference lighting. You can vary the distance between the light and the print to vary the luminance value to be in line with what you feel comfortable with on your display.
Most calibration pucks permit you to measure ambient light levels and white points. So you can illuminate your white paper with your reference light and measure the intensity and color of the reflected light and adjust the distance between the bulb and the paper to get the luminance you want for your display (too bright of a display and your eyes will bug out of your head!).
Once you set your initial target values based on your measurements, you can adjust them to get a visual match between your print and the display that gives you the confidence to make adjustments to the image that produce predictable print outcomes. The last thing you want to do is make adjustments to an image to make a print match your display. You want to make adjustments to your display until the display matches the print. Then you can make aesthetic adjustments to the image knowing that the print will reflect your vision.
As an example, I have a Home Depot track light track that has 4 Solux daylight bulbs (spec'ed at 4700 °K) that illuminate the wall on which I hang prints for proofing. I installed the lights at a distance that gives me about 140 cd/m2 measured by the calibration puck - I made the measurement by pointing the puck at a blank sheet of photo paper hung in the location where I would hang a print for proof. I held the puck at a distance of about 10 inches away from the paper and pointed it at an angle that would not pick up a specular reflection on the glossy paper. I also measured the color temp (white point) of the light reflecting off of the paper. These values are my starting target values for my display calibration process.
Once I go through the calibration and profiling process, I use the resulting profile for comparison to the print. If there is a match, great! If not, I make adjustments to the target values and calibrate again. In this case, the luminance was spot on but the white point was too warm - I made an adjustment and found a match. This process is highly subjective and you need to look away from the display and the print to avoid your visual system's adapting to the differences.
My final values were 140 cd/m2 and 5750 °K for Epson Ultra Premium Glossy Photo Paper, with a match of a test image printed on a 3880. Some papers require a different calibration, so you may need to create a separate display profile for a different paper/printer combination (whether it is your printer/paper combo or another lab's output).
I would use a test print like this:
http://www.northlight-images.co.uk/downloadable_1/DL_page.html
the first image, the one with the woman and three babies along the bottom edge, is the image I found useful in helping me. Get this image printed by whatever lab(s) you want to use and then use it as your reference under controlled lighting to guide your display matching process.
Good luck,
kirk