"Working" for family

There's probably no good place for this thread - Mods delete if you wish.

Just needed to know if I was the only one that considers quitting every time you take pictures for family or if it's just me. Wonder if people would believe me if I lied and said I sold all my gear?

What is the source of your frustration?

A sister in law that nit-picks to death! I LOVE taking pictures of my niece but she really does take the fun out of it.

"Those pictures just melt my heart. Too bad her hair is bad and too bad you didn't get more smiles." It's a little positive comment followed by a million "you didn'ts."

And lots of You should buy this "for your studio."

I just needed to vent and figured if anyone would just say "yeah I feel ya" it would be here.

The phrase "Never do business with family" comes to mind.

Just tell her that a condition of giving her free services is that A) you are in charge and B) No complaints. You are happy to consult, but that you arent getting paid enough to swallow complaints.

Yes definitely - Also, "easier said than done" comes to mind dawiyo. LOL

Yes, agreed, I need to be more stern. Just wish people wouldn't take advantage. Like I said just mostly needed to vent.

Thankfully, I dont have this issue unless Im shooting my wife or son.

Hmm...you aren't getting paid by your sister-in-law and she didn't pay you. I see no big deal. She could whine all she wants. I love to photograph my niece too. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I would feel like process the shots. Sometimes I would forget and to move on. I went to the Bronx Zoo with my niece last week. My sister wished that I would have more shots. I got couples of her seeing the animals. How many of that do you need? No big deal. I move on. BTW, other than my niece, I really have no great interest in photographing my other family members. Sadly, I don't feel I have a strong connection with them.

tracyvb wrote in post #14157295
"Too bad her hair is bad and too bad you didn't get more smiles." It's a little positive comment followed by a million "you didn'ts."

Turn the tables and she'll soon shut up...
Something like "too bad you didn't do her hair first and too bad you didn't have a happier kid" should do the trick.

philwillmedia wrote in post #14158215
Turn the tables and she'll soon shut up...
Something like "too bad you didn't do her hair first and too bad you didn't have a happier kid" should do the trick.

Yes! And the "You should buy this for your studio" can become, "Wow, thanks! Let me know when you're bringing it over."

philwillmedia wrote in post #14158215
Turn the tables and she'll soon shut up...
Something like "too bad you didn't do her hair first and too bad you didn't have a happier kid" should do the trick.

^THIS^

Or...you can simply pull her aside and flat out tell her how you feel. You'd be surprised how people have no clue what pains in the as*es they can be sometimes. If she takes it the wrong way, then that's her internal problem to solve.

"When you say that, I don't think you like the photos"

"I noticed that you always see little details that my customers usually don't talk about"

"Why are you mentioning that?"

It took me a long, long time to learn exactly how to stop bad behavior in a way that cannot be interpreted as an attack.

Those are the phrases. Try them. They can work magic.

And don't forget silence. It is a very powerful statement. You could take shots and share them with your brother online. Skip her. Let him show her and listen to the crap.

S.Horton wrote in post #14159396
"When you say that, I don't think you like the photos"

"I noticed that you always see little details that my customers usually don't talk about"

"Why are you mentioning that?"

It took me a long, long time to learn exactly how to stop bad behavior in a way that cannot be interpreted as an attack.

Those are the phrases. Try them. They can work magic.

And don't forget silence. It is a very powerful statement. You could take shots and share them with your brother online. Skip her. Let him show her and listen to the crap.

Those are some good tips, Sam.

Dealing with family can be very difficult. I am shooting my sister's wedding this summer and I know that it will not be easy.