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Thread started 03 Dec 2005 (Saturday) 18:43
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Tech support

 
sdmaker
Senior Member
421 posts
Joined Oct 2005
Location: Michigan
     
Dec 03, 2005 18:43 |  #1

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER

_____


Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

_______________




  
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wannasmaxx
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Dec 04, 2005 11:50 |  #2

Nice one... I needed that today.... long day


20D, BG-E2, 24-70/2.8L, 70-200/2.8LIS, 430EX

  
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Belmondo
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Dec 04, 2005 11:52 as a reply to  @ wannasmaxx's post |  #3

I've been using Wife 1.0 for 44 years. Is it time to upgrade?

That is very cute. Good imagination.


I'm not short. I'm concentrated awesome!

  
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Scottes
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Dec 04, 2005 12:37 as a reply to  @ Belmondo's post |  #4

belmondo wrote:
I've been using Wife 1.0 for 44 years. Is it time to upgrade?

Don't try to fix it if it ain't broke!


You can take my 100-400 L away when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Scottes' Rum Pages - Rum Reviews And Info (external link)
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Grumps ­ Photo
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Location: Ottawa, Canada
     
Dec 04, 2005 20:12 as a reply to  @ Belmondo's post |  #5

belmondo wrote:
I've been using Wife 1.0 for 44 years. Is it time to upgrade?

That is very cute. Good imagination.

:lol: Upgrading only means trying to run two OS's on one income :lol:


Grumps
(aka Jim or JAZZ D.P.G.)
1DsMKIII, 1DMKIII, T6s, D60, L's, DO, USM, other lens, flashes, studio gear (but no studio!) Olympus TG3
grumpsphoto.com

  
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wannasmaxx
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Dec 04, 2005 20:29 as a reply to  @ Scottes's post |  #6

Scottes wrote:
Don't try to fix it if it ain't broke!

...But isn't Belmondo known for his... erm fixing abilities? SOMEONE post up the image of his home made tri-pod.contraption.


20D, BG-E2, 24-70/2.8L, 70-200/2.8LIS, 430EX

  
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