Insulted by acccident

I was shooting at a birthday event tonight for the Admiral and was accidentally insulted by one of the guests.

I was hanging out with the new public affairs officer who just arrived last week, who shoots an D7000 (mostly on full auto mode also). I'm not going to knock the guy but he still has quite a ways to mature in his photography and equipment.

Anyway this lady turns to the other officer and tell him. "OMG your pictures are totally amazing". Actually being over her a short time he has posted a tiny handful of shots vs. the 10K plus I have posted. Then the PAO officer (somewhat embarrassed at that point) points toward me and says "No THIS guy here has some amazing pictures."

The lady objects and says "Well this guy (me) you can see from a mile away". I guess she is differing to the fact that I always use a grip and a external flash my gear just looks way more pro than his. So I guess because I have better gear, it’s like an unfair contest I’m cheating.

You think about it, she is knocking me because my gear seems better.

First of all the D7000 vs. my 7D. Well the D7000 isn't a pile of dog poo. In fact I have seen way more comparisons online which claim it beats the 7D. Second, just having an external flash and dual grip bulks up the camera and makes my prosumer 7D camera appear to be a top off the line camera. The 7D is great camera but by certainly no measure is it top of the line.

Anyway I am confident in my skills and laughed it off. But I am curious to hear about other persons stories where they might have been insulted by a guest and the guest wasn't even aware they were totally insulting the photographer.

And trust me it IS the photographer that makes the shot really work because pictures can come out equally awesome or horrible on either the 7D and D7000 if you not using the best settings and composition. The external flash and the variety and quality of glass does give me a big advantage though.

composure??

Just say, "Ha ha, thanks for the compliment. I put in a lot of effort to try to make the best photos I can."

I think you maybe reading too much into it., I dont see an insult.

nathancarter wrote in post #14635460
Just say, "Ha ha, thanks for the compliment. I put in a lot of effort to try to make the best photos I can."

Actually she just hinted that my pictures are only good because of the bulkiness of the camera

BaghdadFred wrote in post #14635507
Actually she just hinted that my pictures are only good because of the bulkiness of the camera

You are trying too hard to be offended. People respond to the work with the only vocabulary they have. "You must have a nice camera" means they like the results but dont grasp that its also a matter of skill.

BaghdadFred wrote in post #14635507
Actually she just hinted that my pictures are only good because of the bulkiness of the camera

Right. So you respond with a phrase that indicates that it's not just the camera, that it takes a lot of thought, effort, and experience to make good photos.

The problem started when person A complimented person B, and an outsider to that conversation decided that a compliment of another was a slight against them.

If you say to a woman "You look beautiful tonight", it does not follow that every other woman in the room is plain by comparison. Compliments are a normal social grace, giving and accepting them are part of society.

You pushed the 'insult' by allowing the compliment of another have anything at all to do with you. It did not.

Rstanford wrote in post #14635466
I think you maybe reading too much into it., I don't see an insult.

Neither do I.

gonzogolf wrote in post #14635532
You are trying too hard to be offended. People respond to the work with the only vocabulary they have. "You must have a nice camera" means they like the results but don't grasp that its also a matter of skill.

Exactly.

nathancarter wrote in post #14635566
Right. So you respond with a phrase that indicates that it's not just the camera, that it takes a lot of thought, effort, and experience to make good photos.

Some people will learn from that response but most will just brush it off or will say "whatever" in their minds.

JeffreyG wrote in post #14635573
The problem started when person A complimented person B, and an outsider to that conversation decided that a compliment of another was a slight against them.

If you say to a woman "You look beautiful tonight", it does not follow that every other woman in the room is plain by comparison. Compliments are a normal social grace, giving and accepting them are part of society.

You pushed the 'insult' by allowing the compliment of another have anything at all to do with you. It did not.

THIS

BaghdadFred, if you had not internalized the situation you would've been fine.

The PAO was giving the usual 'Aw shucks' response to a public compliment by deflecting the compliment to you. This whole exchange shows why it's better to just accept an honest compliment, but perhaps the PAO is not comfortable with his ability at photography and so he took the self-depreciating approach.

Once he deflected the compliment to you, the graceful response at that moment is to thank the PAO and then pay him a compliment back. If the guy is just a total rookie and you just can't deliver a white lie then tell him you admire that he's working at it and you see some good potential. The key if you want to be the Admiral hosting the party some day will be to remain graceful.

Now, if the woman at this point contradicted the PAO in giving you a compliment, then understandably everyone in attendance would be mortified for her faux pas. The best thing to do is try and smooth it over by suggesting that both of you enjoy photography and then trying to steer the conversation elsewhere while the woman recovers from embarrasing herself. Getting into a pissing match over proving that you are a better photographer than a complete newbie and then arguing about the size of equipment is the opposite of graceful.

pretty touchy Fred. i don't think it's an insult. maybe you need to start shooting with a disposable camera.

Someone's being a little bit too precious...
Don't be such a princess.

BaghdadFred wrote in post #14635389
Anyway this lady turns to the other officer and tell him. "OMG your pictures are totally amazing". Actually being over her a short time he has posted a tiny handful of shots vs. the 10K plus I have posted. Then the PAO officer (somewhat embarrassed at that point) points toward me and says "No THIS guy here has some amazing pictures."

The lady objects and says "Well this guy (me) you can see from a mile away". I guess she is differing to the fact that I always use a grip and a external flash my gear just looks way more pro than his. So I guess because I have better gear, it’s like an unfair contest I’m cheating.

You think about it, she is knocking me because my gear seems better.

Anyway I am confident in my skills and laughed it off. But I am curious to hear about other persons stories where they might have been insulted by a guest and the guest wasn't even aware they were totally insulting the photographer.

just accept the compliments !

BaghdadFred wrote in post #14635389
Actually being over her a short time he has posted a tiny handful of shots vs. the 10K plus I have posted.

not sure how quantity relates to quality in any way... Does 10k posted shots mean that you have better photos than his "handful"?

I'm just playing devil's advocate here...

I can see the humor, Fred, and she certainly bumbled her approach, especially since you were standing there!

Your "laughing it off" was the best "medicine". I think some folks here aren't "getting" the fact that you are just telling a story, not expressing real offense/insult/outrage​.