coeng wrote in post #14711293
So you mean to keep adjusting the background light setting until my meter reading with just the background light (just in from of the backdrop) gives me the same aperture value as when I metered my main lights in front of my subject?
Yes. This ensures your background is brighter or darker than your main exposure. The caveat is., sometimes you want the background darker, sometimes lighter. You will need to adjust for that when you want it either way.
coeng wrote in post #14711293
So what is the point of metering the hair light? Is the purpose only to adjust to the power setting so it is relative to the main light?
Essentially, yes. But that isn't the only reason. If you have time to set up you hairlight and dial it in, you should do that with the main lights and background lights off. The goal here is to only see the light contribution from the hair light so you can control it. Eventually you will want to use a grid on your hairlight to control light spill and keep from putting light places in your photo that you don't want it.
It will tell you the difference between the two, in stops of light. That way once you know what you like, you can set the hairlight output based on the difference between it and your main light output. You won't always be at f/8 and 1/125th of a second. When you change your main, you'll need to change your hairlight.

coeng wrote in post #14711293
Huh? If I didn't meter I wouldn't know what aperture to use (even with flat lighting)?
Okay. I definitely was not as clear here as I should have been.
There are several ways to meter main and fill lights. One is to meter your fill light first, then after it's where you want it, turn it off, turn on the main light and meter it. Next with both the main and the fill light turned on, meter from under the chin of your subject. You will find you have more light than expected, but it will not cause a problem. Just use that setting for your camera.
Some folks get wound around the axle when studio shooting and only want to shoot at f/8 and 1/125th of a second, (your iso here). If you're like that, leave your main off, turn on the fill and meter to something like f/5.6, f/4 or f/2, then while leaving the fill light on, turn on the main and meter from under the chin until you get f/8. You now have a light ratio of your choice dialed in.
Whether the light on your subject is flat or ratio'd, you will need to meter it.
Apologies for the confusion.