What to do when one person in a group doesn't want to be photographed?

I have a friend who came over with her husband and 5 beautiful daughters for a visit. I set up my studio equipment, got my portrait lenses out with lighting and all, and after all that to surprise her, she refuses to take any pictures because she is not "glammed" up enough. Her daughter makes the same face and says she won't do it either. Her husband really felt bad because he doesn't have any portraits of the last 4 kids with his wife. So, what should I do?

SuzyView - really sad I had to take my stuff down when it was the perfect situation

This is easy, if they really do not want to have their photographs taken.... then don't take them.

Perhaps if you had talked it through with her in advance you would have had better results.

N

Sad though, huh?

SuzyView

Yep

let 'em to sears or kmart. no reason to get personally invested so that it hurts when they turn you down. you can't make them take any photos but some people simply don't see situations and then they are gone.

remember to smile and nod when she shows you (very proudly!) her glammed up but blah photos.

Yeah, that's about the size of it. She takes her kids to WalMart all the time, but I have never been impressed. I understand where she's coming from because I tend to like the other side of the lens. But not having a picture with the kids in 8 years is a little much. I just put my 4 boys in front of me so I'm covered, but at least, I do it willingly.

SuzyView

My cousin is like that. I can take pictures of her kids but if she doesn't feel like Miss America she doesn't want me anywhere near her. If it helps she wouldn't have liked or used anything you took. I learned the hard way that there's no point in shooting somebody who doesn't like how they appear, regardless of anything you are going to do they won't be happy. I've made a habit of asking folks, (especially women) if I can shoot them. and if they don't like a photo for whatever reason. (chin, arms, head, hair etc..) I don't use it. It's a girl thing but when I ran into a bride at the camera store last week who was looking at ther wedding photographs and she hated every one because the photographer didn't tell her to put her shoulders back it really hit home. Yes, vanity is sometimes foolish and people don't see themselves as attractive as they should. but, why capture an image that the subject is going to hate... wait for a better oppurtunity and give her plenty of notice so she can feel good. Sari.

I can sort of understand a little. I hate to have my picture taken and would not want to be put on the spot. Some people are just insecure about the way they look and can't help it.

I don't get why you think the situation is sad, other than having to set up and take down your setup.
It was a "surprise" for the woman, and in my experience, the last thing a woman wants to be surprised with is a photo shoot that they aren't prepared for.
It was a very generous offer, and I think they would be more likely to take advantage of it if they knew they were about to be photographed.
Just my $.02

Perhaps if you had taken photos of the kids who wanted (or wouldn't have minded) to have their picture taken, the other child and mother might have jumped in after warming up to the idea a bit. If you were shooting digital, even better, they could see how well the other shots were coming out, and might have been encouraged.

i agree. u have to tell her in advance when you'll be having a photoshoot for them. many women feel naked without their make up and nicely done hair.

I actually planned it as a surprise because I've known her for over 5 years now and if I had given her warning, she wouldn't have even come down to visit me. So, when she left here on Friday, I asked if she was planning to visit again, our oldest kids are in college and wanted to see each other again, so she is coming down with all her family again this Thursday. Her husband made her promise to get her hair colored, her make up perfect and to come down first thing in the morning so everything was fresh. She said she would in those conditions. I said I would set my day aside for her and if she wanted to see the finished product before I print 100 copies, that would be the way to go. We'll see on Thursday. I will keep you all up to date. Also, to answer the reply about it being sad, I don't have any pictures of my mother because she never felt pretty. And we were poor growing up. I think I have 20 pictures of myself before the age of 12. Pictures tell so much about people's lives. My children have never seen my mother as a young woman. She's always been really old to them. My friend is a stunningly beautiful woman and she doesn't want any pictures of herself. That's what's sad.

SuzyView

I agree with the "sad part" too, though it seems it's working out now. I too would rather be on the other side of the camera taking pictures, but realize sometimes you have to have your picture taken to please someone else.

That's the reason why I'm behind the lens as well.

SuzyView

As I expected, my friend didn't show up yesterday. It was raining. Her hair would have drooped. Oh well. I will catch her sometime and give you all the details. She will just have to be happy with the WALMART $5.95 per sheet specials she gets every year of her little girls. I'll let the girls curse her in her old age. My hands are clean.

SuzyView