I have never dealt with a wedding since my job is commercial production and editing for television. Basically for my line of work, the arrangements are worked out prior in the job pitch. MOST of the time, they are paying for a produced product so we go shoot what we need, go through rounds of revisions of the edit and deliver a final product of the edit as delivery. Very seldomly do we get asked for all the footage. It is great for broll for the future. So say we are doing a shoot in the city and we get a bunch of broll of commuters and random stuff... we can use that down the road for future stuff. We were paid to create the deliverable and the shoot was essential to create that product. Sometimes they ask us for selects of the edit so they can create bumpers for commercials. They usually don;t want to deal with the logistics of saving all the footage. They know they can come back to you at a later date for whatever they need.
For example, we hire camera guys to shoot with our equipment (or rental) and we digest the video from the cards. Sometimes the DP's come back at us and ask for raw footage so they can use in their reel. But essentially, we are paying them to be our operator and that is it. Once their day is done, the footage is ours and sometimes our clients. It's a fine line.
Many times we have been asked to edit stuff other people shot. We almost never get the footage from our client so we usually connect with the production company that shot it. Normally, people don't want all the footage.
However, a wedding seems different. It is highly unlikely you will use that footage for anything else other than part of a promotional reel of your capabilities. And with those "precious" moments I could see the potential of some weekend warrior to create their own video themselves with your footage. And post producing (color grading, sound editing, etc) are part of an edited deliverable. If they want the raw, I would not waste a second making the raw look good or trim the fat. Simply copy all the video to a drive they pay for and give it to them. Post production costs money. They are paying you to either shoot, shoot and edit, or shoot, edit and process everything. Don't give away anything for free.
If you agreed upon giving them everything AND producing a video, I would bite the bullet and go that way. If you didn't agree to giving them all the raw I would explain that you were paid to produce a video and that is what you are delivering. Raw costs would cost extra. But again, you were paid for your time, equipment, etc. The footage is of little use to you afterwards so why not just give them everything? Even if you do, you can still use that footage down the road.
Basically, I do whatever the client wants. If I produce a video and they want the raw... whatever. They already paid me a ton of money anyway. I don't have time to deal with nitpicking over a couple hundred bucks. And once they realize they suck at editing they will come back and pay me more to create another deliverable for them.
One quick example. I freelanced for a production company that shot and produced all the stuff for 51 television shows. They gave me all the footage after the days shoots. I cut and worked on all the shows. I still have all the footage. The production company has to come to me if they want anything. The network has to come to me if they want anything. And my time to look through archive, transfer anything and get it to them costs money (ie makes me money). I charge minimum half day editing rate for anything. For finding something shot 3 years ago and the big wigs don't care anything about just got me $400 for 10 minutes of my time. Bridzillas may be different, but when doing commercial work... most places don't care about anything but the final deliverable. If that final deliverable is an edited video, usually all the raw is yours. But again, I don't hesitate to throw it to them if they ask.
If YOU are the production company and are hiring a camera man, they abolsutley have NO RIGHTS to the footage they shot unless they want it for their reel or you made previous arrangements. Whether you have the rights or the client is between you two.