I'm the same as you, the distance wouldn't matter to me either. I have been known to do late evening shoots at the other end of the country, finishing after midnight, with a 4 hour drive ahead to get home.
However, we are not all the same. Some people like to always be in bed at a reasonable hour, some have partners that would not be happy with them getting in at a late hour, or they have to be up early for work (postmen etc.). It may be something that we don't think about, but I just accept that the OP has (for them) good reasons for not wanting to do the shoot at 9pm and then get home at whatever time it would mean.
Not everybody has the same freedom to shoot whenever they like, I am lucky in being able to set my own timetable 24/7 and fit work in as I please.
Understood. I guess the thing for me is that if the means are possible (e.g. transportation is physically possible) I don't know why you wouldn't do what your client wants. I could understand if you lived in a location where you were required to use public transportation and it stopped at a certain time... but if you can be there and return without any issues...
Re: the rest... that's just the life that you have to choose as a photographer. Photography is a craft that is based upon light, which means it can also be time based. So, you either have to sacrifice and do these things as your client desires, or choose to not do them and miss out. However, if your client WANTS something, and you choose not to do it, they will probably find someone else who will.


