single strobes and dramatic effect

I've been doing a lot of research on OFC and lighting techniques. I would love to eventually do glamour/boudoir/bodysc​apes, ect. I do enjoy high contrast b&w as well. I decided that today I would play around with it a bit. The composition probably isn't stellar, but I just wanted to work on the contrasts.

Is this too much or not enough contrast? Is the lighting dramatic enough? I know the streak on the wall distracts (movers did it when they moved my stuff in) and the walls leading to the hallway create the vertical line 'growing' out of my head.

C&C please:
Original

IMAGE LINK: http://s11.photobucket​.com …orig_zps3fe26f7​6.jpg.html

IMAGE LINK: http://s11.photobucket​.com …s_bw_zps6afbdb1​3.jpg.html

I DO enjoy high contrast b/w. But here you just play with darkening shadows, which is not the way to go, imo. Also - background works against you as well.

Moodwise - you did not get the contrast, where it should be.

But - hey - I made millions of mistakes myself today, so don't feel bad

Thanks for the input. Could you elaborate a bit more on the mood and getting the contrast right? Also, I did edit using the channel mixer to try and get the overall picture done and not focus on the shadows, but I did go for darkening them as well. I liked to look of darkening the red channel more than in this edit and brightening the yellow channel, but felt it may have been a bit too much for most.

I think I may keep the equipment where it's at so I can make adjustments to the lighting as needed.

Thanks again,
Nino

I'll try. If we take only the face, you want to show the contrast between lit up and the dark side of it, right? In this case my comment was, that that bright backroud you're having there just will not make this work. You can do it, but then you have to define the edges more. And make it work - which might be a challenge.

As the "bonus" - everything else is working to distract us from the face. It is not dramatic. Too much space with "dramatic t-shirt" I would say.

Let's wait for others to chip in.

osh_sekta wrote in post #15969535
I'll try. If we take only the face, you want to show the contrast between lit up and the dark side of it, right? In this case my comment was, that that bright backroud you're having there just will not make this work. You can do it, but then you have to define the edges more. And make it work - which might be a challenge.

As the "bonus" - everything else is working to distract us from the face. It is not dramatic. Too much space with "dramatic t-shirt" I would say.

Let's wait for others to chip in.

Is this any closer?

IMAGE LINK: http://s11.photobucket​.com …C_BW_zpsca16573​8.jpg.html