Need Help/Advice/Critique!

I know there are a million things wrong with the original. I am trying to save a lost shot. Working solely in LR. Please provide input on what could be done here to help this out. And, for future reference how would you meter for a shot like this?

I did shoot this metering off the blown out areas as well but bringing everything else up created a TON of noise.

I figure this is one of those spots that I should get there before the sun hits it?

Original:

IMAGE LINK: http://www.flickr.com/​photos/tomowensby/8870​224900/

IMAGE LINK: http://www.flickr.com/​photos/tomowensby/8870​228646/

I do like your edit much more than the original...but you are exactly right, the best way to do this is get there before the sun hits