well, I think I figured it out with a win/win/win situation.
I went downtown today and found a local guy I know who is one of the best photogs in the area.
I told him what I really wanted wasn't advice, but a someone to give this off to, who could do it for cheap and do it better than me. I told him I was in over my head and I needed to do the best thing for the client.
He surprised me with an idea:
- I give him the wedding. He does it for 4 hours for $1K.
- I get a few bucks for the referral
- I get to be the second camera guy with gear from the main photog
- and I get a lesson in wedding photography
So, for the same budget (albeit at the top of their budget) they get:
- a 35 year photog and wedding vet, with top notch gear
- a second shooter under good direction with top notch gear
- same end-deal of a CD with photos
or
They can get me renting gear.
I didn't know this, but this local photog actually teachers wedding photography.
So for the chance to sit under his teaching and use his gear, and at the end of the day do right by the customer by giving them an epic set of pictures.
Yeah they're gonna spend more. And it's going to be worth every penny...and I'm happy to tell them so.

