Arrgg..how to handle this...

porky101 wrote in post #16808057
Banquetbear, If you are posting here to try and help me, please dont waist any more of your time. I have stopped reading your post's when you told me to put my big boy pants on.

...your loss dude. Good luck with your business. With your current attitude luck is the only thing you've got going for you.

Your right, I have decided to ignore banquetbear so therefore I am not learning and have decided against learning. Great assumption.

He insulted me, I dont want to speak to him any longer. I have not read his posts and dont intend to. If you find a point that you think is valuable then your more than welcome to repeat it to me yourself.

Until we meet again, cheers

porky101 wrote in post #16808095
He insulted me, I dont want to speak to him any longer. I have not read his posts and dont intend to. If you find a point that you think is valuable then your more than welcome to repeat it to me yourself.

Are you being serious?

Assuming you are... DAFUQ?!?!

What are you going to do when a customer insults you? Bury your head in the sand and pretend they don't exist? He was right in telling you to put your big boy pants on...

Good luck in your business... you'll need it.

I'm out.

No, ill tell the customer to close the door on their way out.

Cheers to you too

porky101 wrote in post #16808095
He insulted me,

...I have not insulted you. Insults are against the rules here. Telling you to "put your big boy pants on" is not an insult.

Traci_Ann wrote in post #16808111
Bury your head in the sand and pretend they don't exist?

...the funny thing is this is what he has actually decided to do. He agreed to paying the refund, then sent them a text telling them he wasn't any more, now he's not answering the phone. Going "lalalalalala" is almost never a successful business strategy and will do more harm than good in the long run. But you know that, I know that, and everyone else knows that. Cheers for the support.

nathancarter wrote in post #16807452
Opinion: We've bashed on OP enough for now; let's lay off him for a little bit and wait for the results of the engagement shoot. Maybe he'll make things right.

If POTN had been on the new platform, I would have given this post a Like.

But then the OP came back and the fracas resumed.

benji25 wrote in post #16807641
If you are worried about screwing up your photography business because you messed up a wedding you are worried about the wrong thing.

You are ruining someone's (probably more than one) best day of their entire life. Literally the bride's most important day of her life that will be remembered forever. If you screw it up you screw up her memory that she has been building up her entire childhood.

As a side note, please, not that stereotype again! Not every woman who marries is acting out a princess fantasy. Some of us have a more adult view of marriage than that.

porky101 wrote in post #16807682
My example was an extreme one but it still sticks. Nothing wrong with changing your mind aslong as its a valid enough reason.

You didn't have a valid enough reason. Your example, drug money, is too extreme to stick.

You had a valid reason not to give a refund: the deal was done, the client had paid, the client was satisfied. Agreeing to give a refund because you felt pressured by the person you were talking to was a mistake. More about that below. But it was your mistake, not the other person's, and once it was made, there was only one way to correct it. That was to follow through with the refund.

porky, what you're missing when you argue with your critics here is the idea of integrity. Roughly speaking, integrity means being the same person all the time--being consistent--and sticking to your principles, not just any principles that you might make up, but the right ones. Having a stable, solid sense of who you are would protect you against the impulse to cave in when someone gets forceful or angry or whiny. I wasn't there, so I don't know how the person came across, but I'm guessing it was one of those choices. And this person wasn't anyone who could legitimately demand a refund. (Maybe the friends believe they're sort-of-clients because they pooled their money to buy the shoot?) You lose personal power when you give up and say "Aww, all right" just because someone's harassing you. That's no way to negotiate! So one benefit of high integrity is that it makes it harder for people to take advantage of you.

You can change your mind while you're debating with yourself about what to do. However, once you've announced a decision to someone who has a stake in it, it's too late to change your mind, barring truly unusual circumstances such as finding out that the person had given you false information. Your situation about the refund was nothing like that.

porky101 wrote in post #16807911
Can i ask you why you put such emphasis on "Never go back on my word"?

It's about integrity, trustworthiness and maturity.

Maybe you need to get out of middle school to figure it out.

bpiper7 wrote in post #16808286
Maybe you need to get out of middle school to figure it out.

Hey, you did insult him that time. Do you want him to keep listening to you, or not?

porky, keeping your word is important because whoever you give it to is counting on you to act in accordance with what you said.

OhLook wrote in post #16808292
Hey, you did insult him that time. Do you want him to keep listening to you, or not?.

He's not listening to anybody. That was pretty much the point. What can you say to someone who doesn't want to understand WHY you should keep your word?
Feh.

bpiper7 wrote in post #16808310
What can you say to someone who doesn't want to understand WHY you should keep your word?

How about "Keeping your word is important because whoever you give it to is counting on you to act in accordance with what you said"?

OhLook wrote in post #16808421
How about "Keeping your word is important because whoever you give it to is counting on you to act in accordance with what you said"?

He's already rejected that. I don't think you're paying attention.

bpiper7 wrote in post #16808463
He's already rejected that.

I didn't think he had. No one here had offered him that version before.

So now I'm the one at fault? There may be a theme here.

OhLook wrote in post #16808577
I didn't think he had. No one here had offered him that version before.

He was offered that exact version and offered his usual weasel in return.

OhLook wrote in post #16808577
So now I'm the one at fault? There may be a theme here.

Other than you're not following the thread?

Traci_Ann wrote in post #16808111
What are you going to do when a customer insults you? Bury your head in the sand and pretend they don't exist? He was right in telling you to put your big boy pants on...

Have you seen his other two posts about shoots gone wrong?