Arrgg..how to handle this...

Thanks for your input GTS.

If you are genuinely trying to help then Ill ask you to be a bit kinder in the way you give advice, thats all.

Believe it or not but I am human.

People like and trust others who are kind, respectful and positive towards them.
People will listen to others whom they trust and respect, its human nature.

This doesent apply to me, its to everyone.

So if you really want to help someone, get them to like and trust you first, that way when you do offer them advice they will take it a lot easier and faster.

porky101 wrote in post #16813071
Thanks for your input GTS.

If you are genuinely trying to help then Ill ask you to be a bit kinder in the way you give advice, thats all.

Believe it or not but I am human.

People like and trust others who are kind, respectful and positive towards them.
People will listen to others whom they trust and respect, its human nature.

This doesent apply to me, its to everyone.

So if you really want to help someone, get them to like and trust you first, that way when you do offer them advice they will take it a lot easier and faster.

Wow
So it's OK for you to lie to your customers about your lights, to mislead them about your experience and to agree to give them a refund then decide not to bother, it's OK for you to describe them in a disrespectful manner none of which shows any respect for people.

But if we try to tell you how you really ought to have behaved, we must do it with the utmost respect.

Forgive me, but this threads called 'aargh how to handle this', not 'I've behaved like a complete arse please tell me everything's going to be OK'. If that had been the case we wouldn't have bothered trying to help

You made a tiny mistake when it was important, you compounded it massively because you ignored all the advice you were given. And your attitude says you'd do the same again tomorrow.

But me? I'm rude and disrespectful because I'm trying to make you see your problems to help you learn. Yes, that's definitely the important issue here, I'm at fault

porky101 wrote in post #16813071
So if you really want to help someone, get them to like and trust you first

Ironic given it seems your clients can't trust what you say. I count at least three times you have been dishonest with them.

Your client has every right to dislike you, to be negative towards you, to not trust you and to not respect you.

porky101 wrote in post #16813071
Thanks for your input GTS.

So if you really want to help someone, get them to like and trust you first, that way when you do offer them advice they will take it a lot easier and faster.

Another mind bogglingly spectacular demonstration of a lack of self awareness.

Do you know the first rule of holes?

It's stop digging when you find yourself in one.

While 19 pages entertained me while on grandchild sleep watch duty.

This story seems to change a little too often, along with the lack of evidence, to be creditable. Perhaps, someone needed attention, eh?

On the plus side, some good advice for aspirants, reinforcing my personal rules:

a) written contract
b) no business with about to be 21s
c) you don't get outta bed for less than $200(half up front)
and,
d) only do elopements, you gotta work in the middle of the night, but you can charge accordingly

Um, yes. Lead by example.

Glad you can admit it even if your doing so in a sarcastic way.

I agree with you. I made a few mistakes here. Offering a refund - Mistake. Dealing with non-client = Mistake. Saying the lights were out for repair = mistake and a few others I never mentioned. All of them compounded turned into something I would have rather avoided.

not denying that atall.....

Hmm, I have answered this already...I enjoy talking to you guys on forums...where else could I discuss something like this for days?? my friends would have told me to shut up a long time ago

I dont understand D?

Quick question,

Who does the equipment around your neck on your website's About Me section belong to?

I hired those lenses. The camera's and flash are mine. I was on a hotel shoot, I believe I posted a wile ago regarding that shoot....why you ask?

The lenses were a 70-200L F2.8 USM MKII and I think a 100-400L F4 USM

porky101 wrote in post #16813770
Um, yes. Lead by example.

Glad you can admit it even if your doing so in a sarcastic way.

I agree with you. I made a few mistakes here. Offering a refund - Mistake. Dealing with non-client = Mistake. Saying the lights were out for repair = mistake and a few others I never mentioned. All of them compounded turned into something I would have rather avoided.

not denying that atall.....
...

Lies are not mistakes, they're lies.

Let's chat about self awareness, I'm blunt! Do you know what that means? It means I tell it how it is! When I'm talking to customers, I couch that in nice language, I listen, I empathise. But you're not a customer, unless you want to pay for the advice.

When I'm talking to colleagues or peers, we put our cards on the table.

You're a liar (you admitted it)
You're untrustworthy (you admitted it)
And you're delusional. (Terrorists stole your I'd and the government told you? FFS)
And additional stuff you never told us? They're not mistakes, there's one simple way of improving it all, just be honest and professional.

I know my faults, you're trying to pretend yours aren't faults, they're 'mistakes'.

My guess is that as a child you wrapped your Mum round your little finger, that she could never stay cross at you and she pretended to believe any fantasy you sucked out of your thumb? If you expect us to forgive you for behaving unprofessionally, it won't happen! Perhaps you should refrain from asking for help when you feel like being a jerk!

I'm not full of negativity, if I'd given you advice from the start, I'd have said 'don't deal with the birthday girl, don't offer a refund and the pictures aren't that bad'.
Other people said that, you ignored them, you engaged, you got flustered and you ****ed up. It's not my negativity, you did this.

Hate to say this porky, but all the overall time you spent dealing with this issue your pay scale probably went below minimum wage. A lot of good info was giving to u on how to deal with this problem. I wish u the best of luck on your engagement shoot. Btw redundant equipment or a second shooter is your best bet for success for your upcoming shoot.

porky101 wrote in post #16813770
I agree with you. I made a few mistakes here. Offering a refund - Mistake. Dealing with non-client = Mistake. Saying the lights were out for repair = mistake and a few others I never mentioned. All of them compounded turned into something I would have rather avoided.

You were told by many people to not talk to anyone that wasn't the client. You refused valuable advice and continued speaking with the non-clients and in one of those conversations you agreed to give them a refund.

And lying isn't a mistake, its just morally and ethically wrong especially in business. And if you want people's advice its best you tell them the whole story, as it appears you made further mistakes you admit you never told us.

With the economy being what it is, the divorce rate, and the debt load of the average American including student debt, the elopement and the destination elopement market is a niche market, but a remarkably healthy one for couples looking to save thousands of dollars while retaining a small album of the memories.

One only needs to understand really low light photography, as most shots are run and gun. Noise, shadows, OOF, et al.., are all part of the charm. An investigation/surveill​ance background is helpful, as is a carry permit, but are not requirements.

Any big league Canon/Nikon camera that will handle high ISO, and fast glass are musts. But, you don't have to spend $ on needless flashes and lighting.

A niche market, yes. But a market, nonetheless.

porky101 wrote in post #16804316
Yaaaay! Just got my first Wedding! really excited....9th of April.

Screw these idiots. No more contact.

I hope I dont screw up these people's wedding like I did this womans birthday.
I will make sure I set everything on paper this time (email not actual paper)

Woop

porky101 wrote in post #16804482
I have a 7D and a 1,000D and a point and shoot plus my cell phone.

I dont have a second flash....do I need one? if so I will get one(Hire)...but is it neccesarry? (although the camera's all have onboard flashes incase...but those suck as you know)

I have a single battery for each body...do I need more than one battery? probably...ill organise more.

Do I need anything else?

Thanks Gonzo

You are NOT ready to do weddings. The fact that you do not have proper equipment and are having to ask if you need backup batteries and flashes just goes to show you are not ready. So far you call people "fat" and you lie to them. Not a very good way to attempt running a business. So not only is your equipment not up to the task, but you and your business are not ready to be working directly with people because you cannot handle the situations properly.

You have lied to your customers, insulted them, offered them a refund, and then "changed your mind" on the refund". Not cool....


I imagine we will soon be seeing another thread about how you screwed up the wedding and now they are wanting to sue you.

mistake
mɪˈsteɪk/Submit
noun
1.
an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong.
2.
An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.

http://www.thefreedict​ionary.com/mistake

Your so convinced that i'm lying to you that you don't even realize that mistake is a synonym to fault...but its alright, everyone make's mistakes.

Porky your actions were premeditated, deliberate acts of deceit.