so i starting thinking about it while gobbling down my lunch.
when i set up, i always have the small riser up higher than i think i need it, and the arm pointing down toward the light to get to the right height. This allows me to easily move the light down. If i need the light to move up or down, i always try to do it at the riser.
I also don't point the arm directly toward the subject. It is always just slightly in front of the stand and to the right or left. Going back to what I said above about leaving one riser lowered and not screwed down, i can then swing the light nearer/farther from the subject without totally changing the angle the modifier is pointing at the subject. The flash is easily accessible off to the side, and with the pin pointing up, you can adjust whatever change in angle comes from swinging the arm nearer/farther.
If the face of the modifier is pointing right at the subject, the arm is usually pretty close to parallel with that plane, whereas yours is totally perpendicular.
I have definitely had a few frustrating moments with this thing but seem to have figured it out. Until you asked, i had never really thought it all the way through, but it seems to be working.
I attached a pic of the head, pin, bracket set up i use. that might help you make sense of it if my description did nothing but confuse the situation.

edit: i used the word always a bunch, obviously all this flys out the window when the lighting set up gets more complicated.

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