Here's what I can remember, i'm probably missing things.
My assistants (Michelle and Stu). People make the biggest difference.
2xNikon D700 with grip
Nikon 24-70 F2.8 AF-s (so sharp!)
Nikon 70-200 F2.8 VR II (wow)
Nikon 16-35 F4 VR (brilliant)
Nikon 50 F1.8 G (much better than the Canon version)
Previously owned includes...
Canon 20D, 30D, 2x40D, 7D, all gripped
Canon 17-55 F2.8 IS (four of, including two that I dropped, both totally f*ck*d, but they were horrible at focusing anyway)
Canon 100mm F2.8 USM macro (fantastic lens)
Canon 10-22 F3.5-F4.5 (W I D E)
Canon 70-200 F2.8L IS (brilliant lens)
Canon 24-105 F4L IS (nice lens if you can get it to focus)
Sigma 30mm F1.4 (piece of s***)
Sigma 50mm F1.4 for Nikon (just couldn't focus accurately even after calibration, two copies tried)
Nikon SB900 x 2
2xAlienBees B800 with Vagabond mini lithium
Canon 550EX, Canon 580EX I (sold the 580 II)
Some 7' stands for the speedlites
3xSkyport radio slave transmitter/receiver set (unused)
3xPhottix Stratos II
Stroboframe Pro-T flash bracket (in the back of my cupboard somewhere never used), 2xCanon off shoe cord 2 (one spare, probably in the back of a cupboard)
Enough diffusers to sink a small boat, before I realised they're for n00bs
2x13' Impact air cushioned stands (not recommended), bunch of photoflex and photogenic bounce/shoot thru umbrellas and a big soft box.
Sekonic L-358 light meter. About as useful as a banana in a bar fight.
Four adapters that lets me mount a Speedlite and an umbrella together, and mount them to a tripod/light stand.
60GB+ CF (Transcend 16GB, Sandisk Extreme 16GB, Sandisk Extreme III 8GB x 3, Sandisk Extreme III 4GBx2, plus misc)
CP-E3/CP-E4 battery packs (retired, they wore out)
PixelHK battery packs for SB900 and Canon flashes (2 of)
Manfrotto monopod with tilt head, Manfrotto tripod (3021BPRO legs with 322RC2 Grip Action Ballhead) - rarely use either except the tripod as a light stand
SterlingTek batteries, PowerEx AA, Eneloop AA (lots of each), Maha chargers (801D, C9000)
OpTech pro-loop strap x 4, Canon hand strap (unused)
ThinkTank rolling bag (I forget what model)
LowePro Rolling mini trekker (sold)/LowePro backpack (Gemini or Orion)
Couple of UV filters, couple of polarizers, ND filter, CopperHill sensor cleaning kit
Self built i7 2700K, 16GB RAM, Dell 23: LCD, nVidia 1GBgraphics, 4.5TB internal disk space, 3.0TB external hdd (offsite backup), 2xSSD
Adobe Photoshop CS6, Noise Nijna pro bundle (very rarely used), DIM, JAlbum,
Spyder 4 Express calibration system
Monaco Optix Color calibration system (unused)
85mm prime, 35mm prime, D4
Eyes in the back of my head.
Another set of arms.
What I need
D700, 24-70, SB900