My first short fim...with a message

Ok...So I had this idea about comparing texting and driving to drinking and driving. I got 4 volunteers to be in the video, 5 volunteers to help out on set and someone loaned us their vehicle to pull this off. 95% shot with Canon 5D Mark III, 4% with Canon 70D, and 1% with GoPro Hero 3+
I am just a photographer with a camera that shoots video...trying to learn. Here is the video.

https://www.youtube.co​m/watch?v=tzWAVVXBTcg

Nice try.
Guess you can shorten the last texting part and make more impact to your conclusion part. But very well done and keep up the good work.

Very good job. Looks pretty professional, to me.

That's a great way to compare those two topics, I really enjoyed the video. I'll mention a few things I could critique to improve and help learn more about shooting with video.

- The Wide shot was over exposed and did not match the exposure with the other scenes that were in the same area.

- When the two girls walk out of the house there is an odd zooming in and out that doesn't need to be there unless it's there for a creative decision.

- The tracking shot would feel more natural if you tracked with them instead of the opposite direction and maybe made the dolly a little bit longer.

- I really liked the shot of when the two girls were getting into the car.

- The whole scene of the two girls felt a little longer than it should have maybe because there was a lot of cuts from scene to scene. It's better to be concise with your scene and get to the point. If it was an action film then the cuts would be relevant.

- The sound when she first says "What are you doing?" is a little choppy and could use more work to make the sound consistent.

- And lastly like Samsen mentioned, the second half should be more to the point since we've already kind of get the idea of it.

Those were just my comments on the film, but again I really enjoyed the message and keep up the good work.

Thanks guys....I appreciate the comments.

The last texting bit is already sped up quite a lot. I wanted to make the two points that I did, and keep it slow enough that people could read it.

I do see that the wide shot is a little hot compared to the rest. Should have caught that.

The "zooming" effect is from the image stabilization plugin-in in Premiere Pro. (need a better stabilization plug-in.)

I did have a tracking shot that was the same direction...I just felt that this direction gave a more dramatic movement, as in rushing to the car feel. Maybe I was wrong thinking that.

As far as the scene of the girls being long, it might be. I had more chances to show off different angles and perspectives...so I did. I did want to include the seat-belt, because I wanted people to know that wearing a seat-belt is only a start to safety

Not sure about the sound being choppy....I just recorded what she said, the way she said it.

And I shortened the second part of the video some. But I did want it to mirror the the first part quite a lot. I wanted it to seem as if you were watching the same thing again...only with a phone in place of a beer.

I did also edit it all to fit within 60 seconds as well.....seems a bit rushed for me though.

Thanks again for your input!

The girls are hot, and the 60 seconds is perfect. I was actually hoping it wouldn't be any longer, and was happy when I looked at the progress bar and saw it was almost over in the scene where she's texting while driving.

Here is the 60 second version

https://www.youtube.co​m …qycNVHFY&featur​e=youtu.be

jmalonear wrote in post #17070171
Here is the 60 second version

https://www.youtube.co​m …qycNVHFY&featur​e=youtu.be

Shorter version is definitely better. Moves along better and feels less dragged out. Point is still made, and attention is at 100% the entire time. In the first version, it took 40 seconds just to watch her open the beer, and it was starting to get boring watching a closed front door that didn't open, or the hot girl driving the car tap her fingers on the steering wheel.

CRCchemist wrote in post #17070337
Shorter version is definitely better. Moves along better and feels less dragged out. Point is still made, and attention is at 100% the entire time. In the first version, it took 40 seconds just to watch her open the beer, and it was starting to get boring watching a closed front door that didn't open, or the hot girl driving the car tap her fingers on the steering wheel.

Thanks for your input