What is reasonable?

So, I buy a lens from a private seller on a forum not unlike this one. Ad says that it will ship Priority Mail. Seller ships it Parcel. So, shipping time is maybe a week vs typical 2-3 days. No harm on my end, just making me be more patient than I am.

So I mention this to the seller, who while saying he is sorry for the mix-up clearly doesn't get that it is an issue to say one thing and do another, to the point where he suggested I shouldn't expect more (shipping method) than I paid for. This was a relatively cheap item (<$150).

I try to "not sweat the small stuff", and as the few extra days harms me in no way this qualifies as small stuff. But at the same time I have issues getting past the attitude of the seller. So I'm looking for opinions. Am I being overly touchy and petty, or justified in being irked by this seller? Just a curiosity; I am not basing any actions on this. I have been pretty frustrated with the buy & sell experience lately, as folks on both sides of the equation seem to be getting more rude and self-centered by the day, so I'm thinking maybe that is coloring my judgement.

Thanks.

If I were you, I would be just as pissed. You paid the price you did with the expectation that it would be shipped Priority Mail. The seller got to pocket more $ because he "cheaped out" and only paid for parcel shipping. Make sure you leave feedback letting others know that the item was not shipped as stated.

I think your feelings seem justified. I used to sell various items on eBay. About a year ago I sold something to someone and long story short. They reported the item they received wasn't what was listed. (Which to be clear was an out right lie) Not only did eBay refund their money, but I never received the item back from the buyer! I've not sold anything on eBay since. Here's hoping you're happy with the rest of your purchase!

I too would feel frustrated with the situation. I've had it happen multiple times in the past, from businesses too. It irks me for sure.

I do a lot of buying and selling here and on FM. Stuff like this does frustrate me, especially since the cost difference between parcel and priority mail is minimal. I had a guy send something media mail once! I think it was a filter or cheap lens. It never did make it to me and was a big hassle in the end (had to wait a few weeks, buyer had to reimburse me, etc). What's that saying?: penny-wise and pound-foolish? Yea, that. In fact, I posted about it way back when...

I typically ask how items are going to be shipped and I look at feedback to see how well the seller packs their goods. When I first got into digital, I bought a 2nd hand 20D from someone here and he dumped it in a box loose with paper shavings. The paper was the fraying type and the camera had paper dust in every nook and cranny when I got it. It looked like a pork chop that had been shake 'n baked! I took one look at it and sent it back. He said it included the original box and that was folded at the bottom of the pile of shavings. The camera wasn't even in it! lol.

It's hard but try not to let it get you down. Thankfully good transactions outnumber the bad by a large margin or I wouldn't trade anymore. However, realize the numbers will catch up with you and you'll have to deal with things much, much worse than you are and if you don't have the stomach for it, best to buy new.

Good luck!

Seller is a liar.

I hate when sellers do that. I know that if this had been an ebay transaction, it would be an item not as described, since the shipping is considered part of the shipping. In this case, I would decide if the deal I got was so good that the total cost (item + shipping) was a bargain. If it was a great savings, I would forget about it, and leave appropriate feedback, and never buy from him/her again. If you paid 'going used rate' for the item, and then he cheaped out on shipping, I may actually file with Paypal (as long as you didn't pay via gift), requesting a partial refund for the shipping.

I would feel just as you do now. The seller agreed to ship a certain way and then did something different. It would make me question everything about what he said about the lens at this point. If he is going to 'lie' about the shipping and cop an attitude about that, what else has he lied about? Hope it all works out for you in the end.

Everyone, thanks for making me realize that I am not overreacting. Assuming the lens arrives and is as advertised I am not going to file a PayPal claim for a dollar or two, or push back in any way. But I will note the discrepancy in shipping method in feedback.

As I think about this more I realize my frustration is about how people treat each other (me, in this case). Like I said in my initial post, the buy & sell experience seems to be getting worse. And it is mostly little things. People not responding; people saying they will buy then never sending payment; a million ridiculous questions and extra pics requested from people who don't ultimately seem to have real interest; etc.

I don't fear a "big issue". As dog rocket alluded to, one is bound to happen if you do enough of this. PayPal and my credit card company will hopefully have my back, and if not I have always factored that risk in to the equation. But the little stuff, like this, just makes the process unenjoyable. It might be time to start shopping (more) at B&H!

Ron Bailey wrote in post #17422348
I would feel just as you do now. The seller agreed to ship a certain way and then did something different. It would make me question everything about what he said about the lens at this point. If he is going to 'lie' about the shipping and cop an attitude about that, what else has he lied about? Hope it all works out for you in the end.

I'm glad you made that point Ron. That is what I was trying to convey to the seller, that it behooves him to be forthright about the details or everything he says will come in to question. I don't think he appreciated being called out.

mpix345 wrote in post #17422377
I'm glad you made that point Ron. That is what I was trying to convey to the seller, that it behooves him to be forthright about the details or everything he says will come in to question. I don't think he appreciated being called out.

At the least, he should have refunded the extra money paid to ship via Priority. I believe he has shown his true colors once he had the money and he thought the sale was over.

I also concur that it seems as though people are becoming more narcissistic and cold. Not everyone, of course, but those that have the tendencies to be that way seem to be emboldened as of late.

Our move to Hawaii over 2 1/2 years ago has helped me to relax (Type A) and deal with people of like mind. With that said, you never know who you are dealing with on Ebay, etc. I prefer to deal with folks on this site, FM, B&H and Adorama. There is a level of trust built in when you 'know' someone by reading their posts as you can get a feel for how they conduct themselves.

As for me, I stopped dealing with unknowns on Ebay long ago.

Again, I do hope the lens comes through and is what was advertised.

Some closure here. I received the lens, and it as advertised with no issues. The seller also chose to refund my purchase price, without me asking, to be clear that I had the option to return the lens "if it didn't arrive in time". He continued to apologize for his mistake with the listing, while also being non-stop passive/aggressive.

So I asked PayPal how to deal with this. They said to ask the seller to send a new invoice. He did, and reduced the price by $5 to cover the delay. I never asked for any discount, so this seems like an honest effort to do the right thing. In the end I chalk this up to a high level of arrogance on the part of the seller, but I think he is likely an honest person underneath that.

Thanks for all the replies.

He refunded you assuming you were unhappy and he wanted you to send the lens back? Is that what I'm to understand?

If so, then yes, this smacks of someone with an arrogance problem. But like you said, arrogance doesn't mean dishonest.

Glad it worked out.

dog rocket wrote in post #17427368
He refunded you assuming you were unhappy and he wanted you to send the lens back? Is that what I'm to understand?

If so, then yes, this smacks of someone with an arrogance problem. But like you said, arrogance doesn't mean dishonest.

Glad it worked out.

Yes, basically. He tried to control the situation at all levels. And while it was the right thing to do to offer a return/refund, doing it without my input clearly points to some issues. Just like changing the shipping method. He was not intending to deceive, imo, he simply did what we wanted to do.

Glad to hear things worked out for you.