Thanks to all for your help, I knew I could count on you guys 
With all the great information I received, I will be going for a better lens for the T3i, before I bought the camera someone told me to not buy the kit, but buy the camera body and then buy a better lens, but I didn't listen.
Well I'm back to thinking it is ME, and not the camera, I have a Canon 50mm EF 1.8 II that I bought about a year ago and still having the issue that I mentioned earlier, soft, OOF looking. I think I might be on to something, the other night I got to playing around with lightroom's HSL Luminance sliders, I noticed some of the colors were blown out which covered up some of the others colors I think it has helped but knowing there is a better lens than the kit lens, makes me want to give that a try.
I don't need a lens to cover sport teams from the nose bleed section of the stadium and I don't need a panoramic lens, all I want is a lens for portraits wide enough to get 4 or 5 people in the frame without having to back up to far, I would like for the lens to be able to reach out a little but I don't think I need a 250mm, am thinking in the range of 50mm to 135mm if they make one.
Now for my next headache is trying to find a lens around the $250.00 range. don't know if they make a better than kit lens in that price range, but look out Google here I come.
I will post some pictures, may take me a few days.
I want to Thank all of you for your help, it has taken a load off my pea brain
Thank You
Don